1 00:01:47,416 --> 00:01:49,624 Good. 2 00:02:35,374 --> 00:02:38,582 The bell! 3 00:02:47,249 --> 00:02:48,957 Ugh! Tastes like old chicken wire. 4 00:02:48,957 --> 00:02:51,124 Yes, but you've taken off 20 pounds. 5 00:02:54,707 --> 00:02:57,041 Au revoir. 6 00:02:57,457 --> 00:02:59,666 Oh! How is he this morning? 7 00:02:59,749 --> 00:03:03,499 Tolerably well. He says his liver's acting up a bit, but, you know. 8 00:03:03,582 --> 00:03:06,957 Ah, good morning. And how is poor, dear Mr. Kidley? 9 00:03:07,082 --> 00:03:09,624 His gall bladder spent a rather peaceful night. 10 00:03:09,749 --> 00:03:12,332 Ah, that's good. That's good. Splendid. Splendid. 11 00:03:12,457 --> 00:03:15,541 However, he complains of a shooting pain in his sacroiliac. 12 00:03:15,666 --> 00:03:19,957 Oh, good morning. Isn't he the Kidley of Kidley's Corn Plasters? 13 00:03:20,041 --> 00:03:22,249 Kidley's Beans, madam, if you don't mind. 14 00:03:23,874 --> 00:03:26,374 I ate some once. Very tasty. 15 00:03:26,457 --> 00:03:28,332 Thank you, madam. 16 00:03:29,457 --> 00:03:30,957 Ah, Jeepers. Good morning. 17 00:03:30,957 --> 00:03:32,332 How is Mr. Kidley this morning? 18 00:03:32,416 --> 00:03:33,957 Up and down-îsh, thank you, sir. 19 00:03:33,957 --> 00:03:37,749 His liver was a bit squeamish during the night. That's nice. 20 00:03:37,832 --> 00:03:39,666 Did he invent the Kidley Bean? 21 00:03:39,749 --> 00:03:41,957 His grandfather did, madam. 22 00:03:42,041 --> 00:03:45,207 I understand Mr. Kidley inherited quite a little money. 23 00:03:45,291 --> 00:03:48,416 $20 million, madam. I shouldn't call that "a little." 24 00:03:48,499 --> 00:03:50,374 Please, please. Yes! 25 00:03:50,499 --> 00:03:52,374 Ladies, ladies, please, please. 26 00:03:52,541 --> 00:03:54,457 This is for Mr. Kidley. 27 00:03:55,082 --> 00:03:57,374 Is that you, Jeepers? Yes, sir. 28 00:03:58,957 --> 00:04:01,957 Oh, Jeepers, I'm a very sick man. 29 00:04:02,666 --> 00:04:03,999 Very sick. 30 00:04:05,166 --> 00:04:06,707 Will you take that? 31 00:04:08,707 --> 00:04:10,582 Oh, it's terrible. 32 00:04:13,416 --> 00:04:15,874 Normal, sir. Oh, but it can't be! 33 00:04:15,957 --> 00:04:17,916 Ninety-eight and six-tenths, sir, right on the nose. 34 00:04:17,957 --> 00:04:21,166 Oh, that thing's broken again. 35 00:04:21,249 --> 00:04:23,457 If I may say so, sir, it's all poppycock. 36 00:04:23,541 --> 00:04:25,291 You're as healthy as a fire horse. 37 00:04:25,374 --> 00:04:28,124 Oh! Oh, is that so? 38 00:04:28,207 --> 00:04:32,041 Well, why do you think I came to Switzerland, to yodel? 39 00:04:32,124 --> 00:04:33,416 And how about yesterday? 40 00:04:33,499 --> 00:04:36,957 That dizzy spell when I fell downstairs? You saw me yourself. 41 00:04:37,207 --> 00:04:39,207 Anyone would fall down the stairs, sir. 42 00:04:39,291 --> 00:04:41,666 Eight aspirins before breakfast. 43 00:04:41,749 --> 00:04:44,041 Well, now, don't quibble. If you had what I've got... 44 00:04:44,124 --> 00:04:46,957 What have you got, sir? Well, I... 45 00:04:46,957 --> 00:04:49,249 Well, you wait till I see Dr. Schmidt this afternoon. 46 00:04:49,332 --> 00:04:51,957 He'll tell you what I've got. Dr. Schmidt! 47 00:04:51,957 --> 00:04:55,082 Yes. Dr. Schmidt is the biggest stomach man in Europe. 48 00:04:55,166 --> 00:04:56,999 Very well, sir. Whatever he says goes. 49 00:05:01,791 --> 00:05:02,957 You're not getting a chill, sir? 50 00:05:02,999 --> 00:05:05,207 No. I forgot to shake the bottle. 51 00:05:05,291 --> 00:05:07,749 Don't let me forget that, Jeepers. 52 00:05:07,832 --> 00:05:10,457 And here, give me my bad gas water. 53 00:05:17,166 --> 00:05:20,874 There. An ice bag and a hot water bottle, right away. 54 00:05:20,957 --> 00:05:22,791 Oh, not to bed again, sir. 55 00:05:22,874 --> 00:05:25,832 It's all sunshiny outside, sir! The birds are singing! 56 00:05:25,957 --> 00:05:28,791 Oh, shut the window! I hate 'em! 57 00:05:28,874 --> 00:05:30,749 And besides, they're off-key. 58 00:05:30,999 --> 00:05:32,416 Close 'em out. 59 00:05:40,957 --> 00:05:42,582 Mr. Kidley staying here? Yes, madam. 60 00:05:42,707 --> 00:05:46,916 Rooms 201, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 and 7. 61 00:05:46,957 --> 00:05:49,582 Get out, Hannah. This is it. Okey-dokey. 62 00:05:49,666 --> 00:05:52,582 Oh, sir! Sir! 63 00:05:52,666 --> 00:05:55,332 It's her, sir. It's she! 64 00:05:55,416 --> 00:05:57,999 She's here, sir. Sir, she's here! 65 00:05:58,082 --> 00:06:00,207 Jeepers, this is no time for your romances. 66 00:06:00,291 --> 00:06:02,791 Get the ice bag and cool off. But sir! 67 00:06:02,874 --> 00:06:04,416 Sir, she's here! 68 00:06:04,499 --> 00:06:07,541 The one from St. Moritz. The one with four names. 69 00:06:07,624 --> 00:06:09,416 Marko? She's here? That's it. Yes. Yes. 70 00:06:09,499 --> 00:06:12,957 Mrs. Jones DeBaupre Ivansoff Marko, sir. She's followed us. 71 00:06:12,957 --> 00:06:14,166 Well, where is she? I don't see her. 72 00:06:14,249 --> 00:06:17,499 She's in this hotel, sir. In the hotel? Oh, Jeepers, I'm cursed. 73 00:06:17,582 --> 00:06:20,291 Every time a woman finds out I've got $20 million and bad health 74 00:06:20,374 --> 00:06:21,791 she falls in love with me. 75 00:06:21,874 --> 00:06:25,707 The butterflies were easy to brush off, sir, but this one's a black widow. 76 00:06:25,791 --> 00:06:27,999 Well, don't stand there. Do something! 77 00:06:28,082 --> 00:06:29,416 Tell her I died. Anything! 78 00:06:29,499 --> 00:06:31,374 I knew it was a mistake to encourage her, sir. 79 00:06:31,457 --> 00:06:33,374 I did not. It was an accident. 80 00:06:33,499 --> 00:06:36,791 Room 312 and 412. Anybody can get off at the wrong floor. 81 00:06:36,916 --> 00:06:40,374 Well, answer the door. No, don't answer the door! 82 00:06:40,457 --> 00:06:42,166 Lock it! Lock it! Jeepers! 83 00:06:42,249 --> 00:06:44,957 Don't stand... 84 00:06:49,916 --> 00:06:51,499 John! 85 00:06:55,207 --> 00:06:56,457 John! 86 00:06:59,291 --> 00:07:01,916 Well, Mrs. Marko! 87 00:07:03,999 --> 00:07:07,999 Well, what happy wind blows you to Bad Gaswasser? 88 00:07:08,416 --> 00:07:11,457 Never mind that. What happy wind blew you out of St. Moritz? 89 00:07:11,541 --> 00:07:14,541 Well, you see, I, uh... There was a train, and then, uh, 90 00:07:14,624 --> 00:07:16,666 there was a doctor, and he told me that... 91 00:07:16,749 --> 00:07:18,916 That ... Well, I mean... Didn't I, Jeepers? 92 00:07:18,957 --> 00:07:21,291 Oh, absolutely, Mrs. Marko. Will you get out? 93 00:07:21,374 --> 00:07:24,166 Yes, ma'am. No, not you. I mean this, this Creepers. 94 00:07:24,249 --> 00:07:25,416 Jeepers! 95 00:07:27,457 --> 00:07:30,374 We'll get rid of him. Oh, sure, we... Huh? 96 00:07:30,457 --> 00:07:32,999 After we're married. Oh, uh... 97 00:07:33,082 --> 00:07:36,957 Yeah. Yeah. But I understood... I mean, what about your husband? 98 00:07:37,332 --> 00:07:39,916 Pierre? Oh, we won't have to worry about Pierre. 99 00:07:40,166 --> 00:07:42,957 Oh, we won't? Well! Well... 100 00:07:42,957 --> 00:07:44,749 John, it was fate. 101 00:07:44,832 --> 00:07:47,457 Everything was settled that wonderful night you danced with me. 102 00:07:47,541 --> 00:07:49,374 I knew how you felt when you held me close 103 00:07:49,457 --> 00:07:51,999 and whispered, "You, you, it's got to be you." 104 00:07:52,957 --> 00:07:55,207 Yes, but that was a song, Mrs. Marko. 105 00:07:59,291 --> 00:08:01,207 Don't you remember? I remember. 106 00:08:01,291 --> 00:08:03,832 Darling, of course it's going to be me. Oh. 107 00:08:03,916 --> 00:08:07,749 And then you remember later, when you... Oh, did I? 108 00:08:07,832 --> 00:08:09,499 Well, that was the elevator. 109 00:08:09,582 --> 00:08:12,957 You see, I just went, and I got off. It'll happen. 110 00:08:13,791 --> 00:08:15,957 John, do you know what first attracted me to you? 111 00:08:15,999 --> 00:08:19,874 Yeah, well, I guess you had 20 million reasons, eh, Mrs. Marko? 112 00:08:19,957 --> 00:08:22,832 You're the only one in the whole world who believes in me. 113 00:08:22,916 --> 00:08:26,041 The others are always pointing accusing fingers, just because of DeBaupre. 114 00:08:26,124 --> 00:08:28,499 DeBaupre? Yes. He was the one before Pierre. 115 00:08:28,582 --> 00:08:31,124 Oh, he's the one they said you shot. It's not true! 116 00:08:31,207 --> 00:08:34,541 That's a wicked, slanderous lie! Oh, I should say it is. 117 00:08:34,624 --> 00:08:38,082 Just because you were there and there were holes in him, Mrs. Marko, 118 00:08:38,166 --> 00:08:39,416 is no reason why people should... 119 00:08:39,499 --> 00:08:42,957 I was acquitted. Just because I'm impulsive and quick tempered, people talk. 120 00:08:43,207 --> 00:08:45,874 Yes, and with you being an Olympic pistol champion... 121 00:08:45,957 --> 00:08:47,957 You too! Oh, pardon me. 122 00:08:47,957 --> 00:08:50,457 John, what you just said is what the police said. 123 00:08:50,582 --> 00:08:53,707 You don't dare to think that ... Why, no, Mrs. Marko. 124 00:08:53,791 --> 00:08:56,916 I think you're as innocent as a child, a small child. Way down... 125 00:08:56,957 --> 00:08:58,874 We're going to be very happy together. 126 00:08:59,582 --> 00:09:01,957 Don't you think so, John? You're the type of woman I admire. 127 00:09:02,041 --> 00:09:05,957 I'd marry you just like that, if it weren't for... 128 00:09:05,999 --> 00:09:10,207 If it weren't for what? Well, if it weren't for your present husband, Mr. Marko. 129 00:09:10,291 --> 00:09:13,124 Oh. I thought I told you. 130 00:09:14,707 --> 00:09:16,166 Oh, poor Pierre! 131 00:09:16,249 --> 00:09:18,624 Yes, poor Pierre. I... 132 00:09:18,707 --> 00:09:20,207 "Poor Pierre"? What happened to him? 133 00:09:20,749 --> 00:09:22,207 He fell off the Matterhorn. 134 00:09:22,291 --> 00:09:24,624 Oh, that's too... That's a mountain! 135 00:09:24,749 --> 00:09:28,374 13,669 feet. 136 00:09:29,416 --> 00:09:30,832 He was never found. 137 00:09:30,957 --> 00:09:33,707 Did they look? Were you there, Mrs. Marko? 138 00:09:33,791 --> 00:09:35,749 Oh, I saw it all. It was horrible. 139 00:09:35,832 --> 00:09:38,541 Why, when it happened, I wasn't a foot behind him. 140 00:09:38,832 --> 00:09:39,832 Think of that. 141 00:09:39,916 --> 00:09:42,291 I'll bet you could have reached right out and touched him, eh, Mrs. Marko? 142 00:09:42,374 --> 00:09:43,832 Easily. 143 00:09:47,624 --> 00:09:50,457 Seven years. Seven years. 144 00:09:50,541 --> 00:09:52,749 That's how long we'll have to wait, Mrs. Marko. 145 00:09:53,249 --> 00:09:55,957 When a husband disappears, you have to wait seven years. 146 00:09:55,957 --> 00:09:57,957 Not in mountain climbing. I'd be willing to bet. 147 00:09:57,999 --> 00:10:00,916 Oh, you'd lose. I stopped in Geneva to find out. 148 00:10:00,957 --> 00:10:02,957 I had the same lawyers as the League of Nations. 149 00:10:02,957 --> 00:10:05,332 I'm entirely free. 150 00:10:06,207 --> 00:10:08,291 Oh, well look, Mrs. Marko, you wouldn't want to marry me. 151 00:10:08,374 --> 00:10:10,916 I'm a hopeless invalid. I'm liable to die, just like that. 152 00:10:10,957 --> 00:10:13,291 You mistrust me! You act as though you don't want to marry me. 153 00:10:13,374 --> 00:10:14,749 Why, I've told everyone I came here to... 154 00:10:14,832 --> 00:10:16,957 Shh! Don't. 155 00:10:16,957 --> 00:10:21,332 Oh, I must control myself. I mustn't lose my temper. 156 00:10:21,416 --> 00:10:24,624 No, no, don't do that! No! Uh, oh. 157 00:10:24,749 --> 00:10:27,249 You do intend to marry me, don't you, John? Why... 158 00:10:27,332 --> 00:10:29,582 Well, uh, I... 159 00:10:30,749 --> 00:10:32,082 Let... 160 00:10:32,166 --> 00:10:34,041 I'll get it. 161 00:10:35,457 --> 00:10:37,249 You do, 162 00:10:37,791 --> 00:10:39,332 don't you, John? 163 00:10:39,416 --> 00:10:43,957 Oh, sure. No other thought ever entered my mind, Mrs. Marko. 164 00:10:43,957 --> 00:10:46,499 Then that's settled. 165 00:10:46,707 --> 00:10:48,374 I'll go and change. Yes. 166 00:10:48,457 --> 00:10:50,332 And then we'll set the date. 167 00:10:52,832 --> 00:10:54,707 Date. 168 00:10:54,957 --> 00:10:55,957 Jeepers! 169 00:10:59,041 --> 00:11:00,957 I gathered from what I overheard, sir 170 00:11:00,957 --> 00:11:02,957 that we're in a slight miasma, sir. 171 00:11:02,957 --> 00:11:04,957 Miasma is right. 172 00:11:04,957 --> 00:11:06,957 I should advise a firm stand. 173 00:11:07,082 --> 00:11:09,416 I had a brother-in-law, since deceased, 174 00:11:09,499 --> 00:11:11,957 who sponged lions for a living, sir. 175 00:11:11,957 --> 00:11:14,874 He always said... Oh, shut up, Jeepers! 176 00:11:14,957 --> 00:11:17,957 Feel my pulse. It's doing that again. 177 00:11:17,957 --> 00:11:20,874 One, two, three. One, two, three. One, two, three. 178 00:11:20,957 --> 00:11:22,082 Waltzing? Yes, sir. 179 00:11:23,666 --> 00:11:26,082 I'd better drop down to the chemist's, sir, and get your acidity test. 180 00:11:26,166 --> 00:11:28,041 Oh, yes. I'll meet you at Dr. Schmidt's. 181 00:11:28,207 --> 00:11:29,207 Good. 182 00:11:31,749 --> 00:11:35,957 And as for Mrs. Marko, I should tell her to go fry an egg. 183 00:11:35,957 --> 00:11:38,249 Yeah, and get shot down like a clay pigeon. 184 00:11:38,332 --> 00:11:42,957 "The coward dies a thousand deaths, the hero dies but once." 185 00:11:46,999 --> 00:11:48,416 Do hurry, Marjorie. 186 00:11:48,541 --> 00:11:51,374 Oh, yes, but these lovely little fish! 187 00:11:51,457 --> 00:11:52,957 Doesn't it frighten the fish? 188 00:11:52,957 --> 00:11:54,957 Not at all, madam. They grow to love it. 189 00:11:54,957 --> 00:11:57,291 The acidity test for Mr. Kidley, please. Of course. 190 00:11:57,374 --> 00:11:59,957 What does it do? Just one moment, madam, please. 191 00:12:00,582 --> 00:12:04,791 Knoodle, Kneck, Kipper, Kidley. Ah. Here we are. 192 00:12:04,916 --> 00:12:08,499 Ah, now I remember what I want. Corn plasters. 193 00:12:08,582 --> 00:12:10,749 But the gentleman was... Oh, but I was here first. 194 00:12:10,832 --> 00:12:12,624 Excuse, please. Now, these we recommend. 195 00:12:13,957 --> 00:12:15,832 That will be two samelkas, please. 196 00:12:15,916 --> 00:12:18,957 Here you are. And ten samelkas. 197 00:12:18,957 --> 00:12:20,957 Two samelkas. Thank you. 198 00:12:20,957 --> 00:12:24,582 I've been waiting here for the analysis for Kipper. 199 00:12:24,666 --> 00:12:27,957 He's been a little bit off color lately, haven't you, Kipper, little boy? 200 00:12:27,957 --> 00:12:31,124 Oh, poor little poochie-woochie. 201 00:12:31,207 --> 00:12:34,666 Why, you nasty little dog, you! 202 00:12:35,291 --> 00:12:36,374 The name was Kipper, wasn't it? 203 00:12:36,457 --> 00:12:38,124 Yeah, Kipper. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh, Kidley, 204 00:12:38,499 --> 00:12:40,166 Kornbostle, Kreutzenheimer. 205 00:12:40,249 --> 00:12:42,332 I was certain that was here a moment ago. 206 00:12:42,457 --> 00:12:47,041 Knoodle, Kneck, Kidley, Kornbostle. 207 00:12:47,207 --> 00:12:49,957 I can't understand it. 208 00:12:50,957 --> 00:12:53,374 Breathe in, breathe out. 209 00:12:53,457 --> 00:12:56,124 Breathe in, breathe out. 210 00:12:56,249 --> 00:12:58,249 Good. Very good. 211 00:12:58,374 --> 00:13:00,874 Yeah, but, Doctor, I'm worried about those three white spots. 212 00:13:00,957 --> 00:13:03,082 I am not worried about them. You're not? 213 00:13:03,166 --> 00:13:05,999 No. They are the buttons on your under trousers. 214 00:13:06,374 --> 00:13:07,957 That is all. 215 00:13:09,957 --> 00:13:11,082 Step out. 216 00:13:13,457 --> 00:13:14,957 Here, Maria. 217 00:13:21,582 --> 00:13:24,499 Mr. Kidley's acidity test. Here I am, sir. 218 00:13:24,582 --> 00:13:26,666 Ah. Here we are. 219 00:13:26,832 --> 00:13:29,166 I have very much expect this. 220 00:13:36,124 --> 00:13:38,957 - But this is marvelous! - What is it, Doc? 221 00:13:38,957 --> 00:13:43,541 You've got 162 acidity, three times normal! 222 00:13:43,624 --> 00:13:46,499 Oh, well that's fine. That's great. Or is it? 223 00:13:46,582 --> 00:13:51,374 Is it? My friend, with your acidity, you can digest bones. 224 00:13:51,457 --> 00:13:54,749 You mean bones? But I don't like bones. 225 00:13:54,832 --> 00:13:56,791 You not only can, but you will, 226 00:13:56,916 --> 00:13:58,999 your bones and everything else. 227 00:13:59,124 --> 00:14:01,957 You will completely digest yourself. 228 00:14:01,957 --> 00:14:04,791 You mean I'm... 229 00:14:04,916 --> 00:14:07,041 I'm gonna pass away? Pass away? 230 00:14:07,124 --> 00:14:08,624 You will disappear! 231 00:14:08,957 --> 00:14:14,124 Thinner and thinner, smaller and smaller, until finally... 232 00:14:17,582 --> 00:14:19,874 Now I know what is the matter with you. 233 00:14:19,957 --> 00:14:23,416 You have got acidatus canis, the acidity of a dog. 234 00:14:23,499 --> 00:14:26,832 A dog? It is very, very rare. Oh, very rare. 235 00:14:26,916 --> 00:14:29,832 Not once in 700 years does it turn up. 236 00:14:30,999 --> 00:14:33,957 Acidity. Acid mouth. 237 00:14:33,957 --> 00:14:37,541 Acidity. Ah! Here we are. 238 00:14:37,666 --> 00:14:40,666 "The last case was a Greek shepherd boy. 239 00:14:40,874 --> 00:14:43,041 "His name was Peropilis." 240 00:14:43,124 --> 00:14:44,499 Well, what happened to him? 241 00:14:44,624 --> 00:14:46,957 Unfortunately, nobody knows. 242 00:14:47,041 --> 00:14:49,916 "On the last day, he went out with his sheep..." 243 00:14:49,957 --> 00:14:52,916 Yes? "...and they found only his footprints." 244 00:14:54,541 --> 00:14:57,957 Yeah, well, look, Doc. I mean, how long have I got? 245 00:14:57,957 --> 00:15:02,082 Oh, 10, 20, maybe 30 days. 246 00:15:02,166 --> 00:15:04,666 Days? Oh! 247 00:15:04,749 --> 00:15:09,791 But why should you care? In the history of medicine, you will live forever. 248 00:15:09,874 --> 00:15:12,291 You are the first human dog. 249 00:15:16,124 --> 00:15:18,374 What was that? 250 00:15:18,457 --> 00:15:20,166 Ah. Erno. 251 00:15:20,249 --> 00:15:22,416 Jeepers! 252 00:15:22,957 --> 00:15:26,207 Doc! Doc! Never mind writing me up. What I want to know is... 253 00:15:26,291 --> 00:15:29,957 Look, Erno. The body is still round and fat. 254 00:15:29,957 --> 00:15:31,416 The face is still smooth. 255 00:15:32,124 --> 00:15:35,957 But in the eyes already show the ravages of, of... 256 00:15:36,332 --> 00:15:37,957 We've got to give it a name. 257 00:15:38,332 --> 00:15:39,999 I'll call it "Schmidt's Disease." 258 00:15:40,082 --> 00:15:41,999 After you? After me. 259 00:15:42,166 --> 00:15:44,999 Down the centuries, students will read of this. 260 00:15:45,082 --> 00:15:48,666 Side by side we will live through all eternity. 261 00:15:48,749 --> 00:15:51,374 Schmidt and his disease. 262 00:15:51,457 --> 00:15:52,957 We must send it to the journal. 263 00:15:52,957 --> 00:15:56,957 Oh, yes. All the newspapers. The whole world. 264 00:15:56,999 --> 00:15:59,957 Doc, look! Look, Doc. It's started already. 265 00:15:59,957 --> 00:16:01,957 I'm shrinking! I... 266 00:16:01,957 --> 00:16:05,291 That is my hat. 267 00:16:20,957 --> 00:16:24,582 If I may say so, sir, I don't think you put up much of a fight. 268 00:16:24,666 --> 00:16:26,291 Jeepers, you talk like a fool. 269 00:16:26,374 --> 00:16:29,707 Have you ever seen Mrs. Marko at target practice? 270 00:16:29,791 --> 00:16:32,707 Why, she can shoot the head off a pin at 100 yards. 271 00:16:32,791 --> 00:16:35,957 But didn't you tell her, sir, that you only had 30 days to live? 272 00:16:35,957 --> 00:16:37,957 Yeah. That was my fatal mistake. 273 00:16:37,999 --> 00:16:41,582 Three minutes after I told her, she had me signing on a lot of dotted lines. 274 00:16:42,499 --> 00:16:45,249 I'll fix it with flowers, and it will look beautiful. 275 00:16:45,332 --> 00:16:47,332 All right. Now, what about the time? 276 00:16:47,416 --> 00:16:49,957 I can push you in and your gentleman at 3:30. 277 00:16:49,957 --> 00:16:51,916 Oh, couldn't you make it at 4:00? 278 00:16:51,957 --> 00:16:54,916 Marrying on the half hour has been unlucky for me. No. Impossible! 279 00:16:54,957 --> 00:16:58,249 At 4:00 I marry His Highness Prince Smirnov to a young lady from Texas. 280 00:16:58,332 --> 00:17:00,624 That's where the cows come from. 281 00:17:00,749 --> 00:17:03,457 Very well. Mr. Kidley and I will be here at 3:30. 282 00:17:05,249 --> 00:17:07,124 They say cremation's awfully nice, sir. 283 00:17:07,207 --> 00:17:09,416 Jeepers! Just trying to be helpful, sir. 284 00:17:09,499 --> 00:17:11,124 Well, stop it. Have you got a cigar? 285 00:17:11,207 --> 00:17:13,957 Yes, indeed, sir. Shall I smoke it for you? 286 00:17:13,957 --> 00:17:16,916 No, I'll smoke it myself. What does it matter now? 287 00:17:16,957 --> 00:17:19,957 That's the spirit, sir. As the poet says, "Come fill the cup, 288 00:17:19,957 --> 00:17:22,166 "for the bird's on the wing." 289 00:17:22,916 --> 00:17:24,166 That's good. 290 00:17:24,249 --> 00:17:26,832 I'm just beginning to realize what a swell old world this is 291 00:17:26,916 --> 00:17:28,457 now that I've only got 30 days. 292 00:17:28,541 --> 00:17:29,957 Twenty-nine now, sir. 293 00:17:32,041 --> 00:17:34,332 Jeepers, I've got to do something about my money. 294 00:17:34,457 --> 00:17:37,416 If I leave it to Mrs. Marko, she'll use it to start a war. 295 00:17:37,499 --> 00:17:39,791 I'm tellin' you, you'll do like I say! 296 00:17:39,874 --> 00:17:41,957 You'll marry Smirnov if I have to hogtie you! 297 00:17:41,999 --> 00:17:45,291 - No! I won't! No! - Do exactly as I say! 298 00:17:45,374 --> 00:17:46,957 Look out! 299 00:17:47,957 --> 00:17:49,957 Well! Well! 300 00:17:53,666 --> 00:17:55,166 Well, I don't blame her. 301 00:17:57,374 --> 00:17:58,957 Whatever it is, he's wrong. 302 00:18:00,624 --> 00:18:02,291 Home, Jeepers. Yes, sir. 303 00:18:15,957 --> 00:18:18,582 Mighty proud to be his wife, that's what you ought to be. 304 00:18:18,666 --> 00:18:22,624 Mighty proud! Why, Smirnov's folks goes back 40 generations. 305 00:18:22,832 --> 00:18:24,957 Well, why don't he go back with 'em? 306 00:18:24,957 --> 00:18:26,957 "Don't do this. Don't do that. 307 00:18:26,957 --> 00:18:28,957 "Don't wear this. Don't wear that." 308 00:18:28,957 --> 00:18:31,457 Trying to make a lady out of me! 309 00:18:31,582 --> 00:18:34,749 Always licking my hand like a Saint Bernard dog. 310 00:18:34,832 --> 00:18:35,957 Oh, I hate him! 311 00:18:35,957 --> 00:18:37,707 Now, we didn't traipse all the way 312 00:18:37,791 --> 00:18:39,999 from Eagle Heights, Texas, to Bad Gaswasser 313 00:18:40,124 --> 00:18:42,374 just so you could back out now. 314 00:18:42,791 --> 00:18:46,624 But, Pa, I love Henry Munch! 315 00:18:50,249 --> 00:18:53,957 Oh, Henny-Penny! They're trying to pull us apart. 316 00:18:55,416 --> 00:18:57,166 Oh, Henny, coochie-woochie... 317 00:18:57,249 --> 00:18:59,749 Aw, coochie-woochie-woochie! 318 00:18:59,874 --> 00:19:02,416 Oh, Daddy, no, don't! Munch is a no-account bus driver! 319 00:19:02,791 --> 00:19:05,166 From Eagle Heights to Silver Falls. 320 00:19:05,332 --> 00:19:07,249 I don't care. I love him just the same. 321 00:19:07,707 --> 00:19:09,957 That Smirnov's nothing but a dressed-up coyote. 322 00:19:09,957 --> 00:19:13,291 Dressed or undressed, you're marrying him at 4:00. 323 00:19:13,457 --> 00:19:16,207 Well, Henry was good enough when we were nothing but poor scrub farmers. 324 00:19:16,416 --> 00:19:19,041 And ever since we struck oil and got to wearin' shoes, 325 00:19:19,124 --> 00:19:21,457 you've been getting mighty nose-high, Pa. 326 00:19:21,541 --> 00:19:23,832 You're goin' back home a princess, 327 00:19:23,916 --> 00:19:25,791 just like I told 'em. 328 00:19:25,874 --> 00:19:28,666 By hooky, they'll let me into the country club and everything then. 329 00:19:28,749 --> 00:19:31,957 I'll show 'em! That bunch always lookin' down on me. 330 00:19:32,332 --> 00:19:34,207 If you could only patch up a man 331 00:19:34,332 --> 00:19:35,916 as easily as you can a bicycle tire. 332 00:19:43,832 --> 00:19:45,666 Imagine me laughing in my condition. 333 00:19:45,749 --> 00:19:48,957 You're going through with it, and that's my final say! 334 00:19:48,957 --> 00:19:52,082 I won't. I won't, I won't, I won't, I won't! 335 00:19:52,207 --> 00:19:55,416 I'll... I'll run away. I'll... I'll do something desperate. 336 00:20:05,624 --> 00:20:08,207 Hey! Jeepers, that girl! 337 00:20:08,707 --> 00:20:11,166 Mr. Kidley! No! 338 00:20:16,249 --> 00:20:20,541 Help! Help! Oh! Wait! Careful! 339 00:20:20,624 --> 00:20:21,957 Help! 340 00:20:23,666 --> 00:20:24,957 Why, you... 341 00:20:31,374 --> 00:20:32,374 Careful. 342 00:20:32,457 --> 00:20:33,957 Oh, Miss, please! 343 00:20:33,957 --> 00:20:36,749 I'll save you. Take it easy. 344 00:20:40,957 --> 00:20:42,374 Let me, sir! Let me, please! 345 00:20:42,457 --> 00:20:44,457 Oh, darn fool. 346 00:20:56,999 --> 00:20:59,499 Get her! Save her! Get her! Hey, wait a minute! 347 00:20:59,582 --> 00:21:04,082 Wait. Are you all right? Oh! Oh. Oh. 348 00:21:04,166 --> 00:21:07,374 Oh, say! Oh, thanks. You saved my life. 349 00:21:07,457 --> 00:21:10,041 Well, why did you do it? Why didn't you let me alone? 350 00:21:10,124 --> 00:21:11,999 You can't even swim. 351 00:21:12,124 --> 00:21:14,957 Apart from his morning tub, miss, he's never been in the water in his life. 352 00:21:14,999 --> 00:21:16,707 Well, then, why did you do it? 353 00:21:17,541 --> 00:21:19,291 It was marvelous. I mean, wonderful. 354 00:21:19,374 --> 00:21:22,832 But why did you do it? 355 00:21:22,916 --> 00:21:25,957 Well, you see, I... Any man would have done the same. 356 00:21:26,124 --> 00:21:28,749 I couldn't get the inner tube off my neck, sir. 357 00:21:28,832 --> 00:21:30,541 Look. Look, you. You... 358 00:21:30,624 --> 00:21:32,707 Don't you ever do anything like that, 359 00:21:32,791 --> 00:21:34,707 no matter what your troubles are. 360 00:21:34,791 --> 00:21:36,999 This world's a pretty nice place to live in. 361 00:21:37,082 --> 00:21:38,582 Think of the sunshine, and the bees, 362 00:21:38,666 --> 00:21:40,541 and the butterflies and the breeze and the... And the... 363 00:21:41,374 --> 00:21:42,666 What's that thing about the cup? 364 00:21:42,749 --> 00:21:44,957 "Come fill the cup. The bird's on the wing." 365 00:21:44,999 --> 00:21:47,249 Yeah, you see? The bird's on the wing. What bird? 366 00:21:47,332 --> 00:21:50,166 Well, uh... What bird, Jeepers? Just a figure of speech, sir. 367 00:21:50,249 --> 00:21:53,166 Come along, sir. We mustn't precipitate your demise. Pneumonia! 368 00:21:54,041 --> 00:21:56,957 Come on. You're liable to catch your death of cold if you... 369 00:21:56,957 --> 00:21:58,749 Oh, me. 370 00:22:03,624 --> 00:22:05,499 I just wish you knew my Henry. 371 00:22:05,582 --> 00:22:08,249 He's so big, and strong and cute. 372 00:22:09,041 --> 00:22:10,957 Why, he'd do anything for me. 373 00:22:10,957 --> 00:22:12,957 You know, when we were kids, he... 374 00:22:12,957 --> 00:22:16,541 He ate a beetle, just "cause I asked him to. 375 00:22:16,624 --> 00:22:19,457 Sounds like a handy fella to have around a garden. 376 00:22:19,541 --> 00:22:21,791 Yeah, but that's all over with now. 377 00:22:21,874 --> 00:22:24,082 At 4:00 I've got to marry Smirnov. 378 00:22:24,166 --> 00:22:25,957 Yeah, but this is 1939. 379 00:22:26,041 --> 00:22:28,124 You don't have to go around jumping off bridges. 380 00:22:28,249 --> 00:22:29,874 You don't know Pa. 381 00:22:31,416 --> 00:22:33,041 But what are my troubles compared to yours? 382 00:22:33,874 --> 00:22:36,499 I mean, you being a human dog and everything. 383 00:22:36,582 --> 00:22:39,374 Yeah. Acidatus canis. 384 00:22:39,957 --> 00:22:42,124 You know, while we're sitting here, Mickey, you know what I'm doin'? 385 00:22:42,207 --> 00:22:44,166 I'm digesting myself. 386 00:22:44,249 --> 00:22:46,791 Bones and all. 387 00:22:46,874 --> 00:22:48,957 I'm getting smaller and smaller. 388 00:22:48,957 --> 00:22:51,582 First a pygmy, then a radiator ornament, 389 00:22:51,749 --> 00:22:53,957 then a watch charm, and finally... 390 00:22:54,749 --> 00:22:58,957 Just a memory. I'm the last of the vanishing Americans. 391 00:22:58,957 --> 00:23:01,166 Oh, I feel so sorry for you, Mr. Kidley. 392 00:23:01,249 --> 00:23:03,957 Oh, thanks, Mickey. Nobody else cares. 393 00:23:03,957 --> 00:23:06,249 Why, even the hotel people asked me to move. 394 00:23:06,332 --> 00:23:08,957 Afraid I might give the hotel a bad name. 395 00:23:08,957 --> 00:23:11,874 Told me to go to some other place and die. 396 00:23:11,957 --> 00:23:13,207 Oh, I wouldn't be afraid of them. 397 00:23:13,291 --> 00:23:17,041 I'd do it right here in this room, if I wanted to. 398 00:23:17,124 --> 00:23:19,082 Oh, gee. You're a nice girl, Mickey. 399 00:23:19,166 --> 00:23:21,999 I like you. And I like Henry too. 400 00:23:22,082 --> 00:23:24,416 You do? Jeepers. 401 00:23:24,499 --> 00:23:26,374 Yes, sir? Another glass. 402 00:23:26,499 --> 00:23:27,957 Another glass, Jeepers. For you. 403 00:23:27,957 --> 00:23:29,957 Oh, thank you, sir. Let's drink to Henry. 404 00:23:30,999 --> 00:23:32,582 Munch? Munch. 405 00:23:32,666 --> 00:23:33,957 Munch. 406 00:23:37,499 --> 00:23:38,791 That couldn't be Pa, could it? 407 00:23:38,874 --> 00:23:40,124 The Kidley suite. 408 00:23:41,499 --> 00:23:42,999 Who is it? It's the Arko-may. 409 00:23:43,082 --> 00:23:45,416 Holy mackerel! I forgot all about her. 410 00:23:45,499 --> 00:23:47,249 What does she want? 411 00:23:47,332 --> 00:23:48,832 It's about your nuptials, sir. 412 00:23:48,916 --> 00:23:50,541 She wants to know if you're dressed. Tell her no. 413 00:23:50,624 --> 00:23:53,957 Tell her anything. Tell her I'm not dressed, not even my socks. 414 00:23:53,999 --> 00:23:58,624 You see, Mrs. Marko, Mr. Kidley is a little delayed. 415 00:23:58,707 --> 00:24:01,291 No, not decayed, madam, delayed. 416 00:24:01,374 --> 00:24:03,666 And I want him to be ready for the ceremony! 417 00:24:03,749 --> 00:24:04,957 What'd she say? What'd she say? 418 00:24:04,957 --> 00:24:06,957 She says you'd better be ready darn soon, sir, 419 00:24:07,041 --> 00:24:08,874 and I didn't like the way she said it. 420 00:24:08,957 --> 00:24:11,957 Well, Jeepers, Jeepers, do something. Think of something. 421 00:24:11,957 --> 00:24:13,916 Yeah! What's the matter? What's the matter? 422 00:24:13,957 --> 00:24:16,082 She... Mrs. Marko, she shoots her husbands. 423 00:24:16,207 --> 00:24:18,082 She pushes them off mountains, 424 00:24:18,207 --> 00:24:19,957 and I've got to marry her at 3:30. 425 00:24:21,499 --> 00:24:23,624 But you don't have to marry her, do you? 426 00:24:23,707 --> 00:24:26,374 I don't, huh? She's the Olympic pistol champion. 427 00:24:26,457 --> 00:24:27,957 I can't get out of this any more than you can. 428 00:24:28,041 --> 00:24:29,832 I mean, we're in the same fix. 429 00:24:29,916 --> 00:24:32,207 Oh, why didn't you let me stay in the water? 430 00:24:32,291 --> 00:24:33,957 I was just beginning to do all right. 431 00:24:33,999 --> 00:24:36,624 All she wants is my money. She's my Smirnov. 432 00:24:37,957 --> 00:24:39,707 Hey, wait a minute. There's an out. 433 00:24:39,791 --> 00:24:41,166 There's an out for both of us. 434 00:24:41,249 --> 00:24:43,666 You mean we should hold hands and jump back into the... No! Now listen. 435 00:24:43,749 --> 00:24:45,874 Now listen carefully, Mickey. We only have a few minutes. Yeah? 436 00:24:45,957 --> 00:24:47,499 How would you like to marry me? 437 00:24:47,582 --> 00:24:48,791 How would I... What? 438 00:24:48,874 --> 00:24:50,416 You've had too much of that spider juice, sir. 439 00:24:50,541 --> 00:24:52,666 No, I haven't. But I can't marry you. 440 00:24:52,749 --> 00:24:53,957 Yes, you can. Here, put this on. 441 00:24:54,957 --> 00:24:56,457 It throws everybody for a loss. 442 00:24:56,541 --> 00:24:57,957 It puts the prince behind the eight ball, 443 00:24:57,999 --> 00:24:59,832 and the pistol champion in the side pocket. 444 00:24:59,916 --> 00:25:02,291 Yeah, but what about Henry? 445 00:25:02,374 --> 00:25:03,624 Well, that's it. 446 00:25:03,707 --> 00:25:06,041 I can die in peace, and as soon as I'm gone you can marry Henry, 447 00:25:06,124 --> 00:25:07,957 and I'll leave him barrels of money. 448 00:25:07,957 --> 00:25:09,666 He can buy a thousand buses. 449 00:25:09,749 --> 00:25:12,416 Yeah, that's... Oh, but I don't love you. 450 00:25:12,499 --> 00:25:14,957 I mean, I don't even know you, well, good, you know. 451 00:25:14,957 --> 00:25:17,082 I don't love you either. That makes it perfect. 452 00:25:17,166 --> 00:25:19,041 But why should you do all this for me? 453 00:25:19,124 --> 00:25:21,791 Well, in the first place, I've never done anything for anybody. 454 00:25:21,916 --> 00:25:24,082 In the second place, it helps me too. 455 00:25:24,166 --> 00:25:26,749 And in the third place... Oh, well, I don't know. 456 00:25:26,832 --> 00:25:29,957 But, you can't... No, no buts. You leave everything to me. 457 00:25:29,957 --> 00:25:32,957 All right, I will. And I'll leave everything to you. 458 00:25:48,582 --> 00:25:50,457 Highness. 459 00:25:53,791 --> 00:25:55,416 Ah, gentlemen! 460 00:25:56,541 --> 00:26:00,957 Your Highness, I wouldn't have missed your wedding for the world. 461 00:26:00,999 --> 00:26:03,291 Gentlemen, you all know Kretsky. 462 00:26:03,374 --> 00:26:05,957 There he stands, an eloquent picture of his mission. 463 00:26:05,957 --> 00:26:08,957 The bulge in his right pocket, my unpaid notes. 464 00:26:08,957 --> 00:26:12,082 In his left pocket, my bad checks. 465 00:26:12,166 --> 00:26:14,207 The hollow in the middle is Kretsky. 466 00:26:14,291 --> 00:26:16,749 Your Highness has saved me words. 467 00:26:16,832 --> 00:26:18,999 Unless the bulge in my left pocket 468 00:26:19,124 --> 00:26:21,957 is made good immediately after the ceremony 469 00:26:22,082 --> 00:26:24,124 Your Highness will have the opportunity 470 00:26:24,207 --> 00:26:27,832 of entertaining the police with his priceless humor. 471 00:26:27,957 --> 00:26:30,082 Kretsky, I intensely dislike you and your bloodhound 472 00:26:30,166 --> 00:26:31,957 continually sniffing at my heels. 473 00:26:31,957 --> 00:26:37,041 We are sniffing for 200,000 samelkas in bad checks. 474 00:26:37,541 --> 00:26:39,499 Kretsky, I have told you, you will be paid 475 00:26:39,582 --> 00:26:42,541 when I get my dowry, after the wedding. 476 00:26:47,957 --> 00:26:52,291 Oh, pardon me, Your Highness. I'm terribly sorry. 477 00:26:52,374 --> 00:26:55,457 I nearly ran over you. 478 00:26:55,541 --> 00:26:57,666 Pardon me! Your Highness, sir. 479 00:26:57,749 --> 00:26:59,791 I will forgive you if you make me a good wedding. 480 00:26:59,874 --> 00:27:01,499 Excuse me, sir. Are you the mayor? 481 00:27:01,582 --> 00:27:03,916 Uh, what is it? Could I speak to you for a moment, sir? 482 00:27:03,957 --> 00:27:06,707 Just one moment. Oh, will you pardon me. Your Highness, pardon me. 483 00:27:06,916 --> 00:27:08,957 What is it? There's a certain young party, sir. 484 00:27:08,999 --> 00:27:11,291 She wants to get married. Well, uh... 485 00:27:11,416 --> 00:27:13,707 A scullery maid, sir, and the butler in the same house, sir. 486 00:27:13,791 --> 00:27:16,957 No, I can't do it. I'm afraid they'll elope unless we do something, sir. 487 00:27:16,999 --> 00:27:19,541 You know, what with springtime and everything, Your Honor. 488 00:27:19,624 --> 00:27:20,957 We'd hate to lose them. 489 00:27:20,999 --> 00:27:23,874 I have one waiting already at 3:30 and another one at 4:00. 490 00:27:23,957 --> 00:27:26,499 But it would only take a moment if Your Honor would just hit the high spots. 491 00:27:26,582 --> 00:27:28,791 No, no, no. I can't do it. I can't do it. 492 00:27:28,874 --> 00:27:31,707 Oh. Mm, yes. If you can make it quick. 493 00:27:31,791 --> 00:27:34,957 Bring 'em in the courtroom, but sneak 'em in the back way. 494 00:27:35,041 --> 00:27:37,291 If Your Highness will pardon me one second. 495 00:27:37,374 --> 00:27:39,332 Something very urgent came up. 496 00:27:39,457 --> 00:27:41,832 Excuse me, please, sir. I beg your pardon. 497 00:27:43,249 --> 00:27:47,916 A little kitchen romance. It should be amusing. Let us watch. 498 00:27:47,957 --> 00:27:50,291 Your hat off, please. 499 00:27:50,374 --> 00:27:53,707 Right away I marry you in the courtroom. 500 00:27:55,832 --> 00:27:57,707 What? 501 00:27:57,832 --> 00:27:59,791 Here? No, no. Not in here. 502 00:27:59,916 --> 00:28:01,999 Here is for the certificate only. 503 00:28:02,124 --> 00:28:05,957 The marriage is in the courtroom always. 504 00:28:05,957 --> 00:28:07,582 Can you write? 505 00:28:07,666 --> 00:28:09,666 Ja, ja. Oui, oui. Oui, oui. 506 00:28:09,791 --> 00:28:12,332 Si, señor. 507 00:28:12,457 --> 00:28:14,332 All right, then. 508 00:28:14,457 --> 00:28:17,082 Then write here your names, please, right here. 509 00:28:40,957 --> 00:28:41,999 Uh, well, all right. 510 00:28:42,166 --> 00:28:45,832 Come on here. This way. The prince's guests are waiting. Hurry up, hurry up. 511 00:28:52,749 --> 00:28:54,457 Do you take this man for your lawful, wedded husband... 512 00:28:54,541 --> 00:28:58,374 to live with him in sickness and in health... 513 00:28:58,457 --> 00:28:59,749 Do you promise to love one another 514 00:28:59,832 --> 00:29:01,874 and cherish each other as long as you may live? 515 00:29:01,957 --> 00:29:03,957 Say yes! I do. 516 00:29:04,041 --> 00:29:06,082 Now you. Don't let the people wait. 517 00:29:09,582 --> 00:29:11,832 Do you take this woman for your lawful, wedded wife... 518 00:29:16,166 --> 00:29:18,957 He won't be late, will he? 519 00:29:18,999 --> 00:29:21,416 I beg pardon, ma'am? He won't be late, will he? 520 00:29:21,541 --> 00:29:25,541 Oh, no, ma'am. In a manner of speaking, he's already here. 521 00:29:25,874 --> 00:29:27,999 You may now join hands. 522 00:29:28,082 --> 00:29:29,957 Hold hands! Don't we kneel? 523 00:29:30,082 --> 00:29:32,457 If you want to kneel, kneel. 524 00:29:34,332 --> 00:29:37,416 As evidence of these promises that you have made... 525 00:29:37,499 --> 00:29:39,791 Oh, we can skip that. 526 00:29:39,874 --> 00:29:41,749 Uh, by virtue of the power invested in me... 527 00:29:41,832 --> 00:29:43,957 And by virtue of the solemn promises you have made to one another 528 00:29:43,957 --> 00:29:46,041 I hereby pronounce you to be man and wife. 529 00:29:46,124 --> 00:29:47,416 You can rise now. It's all over. 530 00:29:51,957 --> 00:29:54,124 The bride... Let us kiss the bride. 531 00:29:55,832 --> 00:29:58,957 Hey, wait! Come on. We'll catch them outside. 532 00:29:59,082 --> 00:30:00,957 Come on! The prince is gonna kiss the bride. 533 00:30:01,124 --> 00:30:02,999 Come on! 534 00:30:08,624 --> 00:30:10,666 Come, madam, you must pay the penalty. Uh-uh! 535 00:30:10,791 --> 00:30:14,957 - Max, help me, please. - Oop-la! 536 00:30:14,957 --> 00:30:17,166 Mickey! Mickey! 537 00:30:19,957 --> 00:30:21,957 Let her alone! 538 00:30:21,957 --> 00:30:23,957 So. 539 00:30:30,124 --> 00:30:32,999 Your Highness! 540 00:30:33,166 --> 00:30:36,874 Are you all right? That car! I'll hold them off, sir! 541 00:30:36,957 --> 00:30:38,999 John! John! 542 00:30:39,291 --> 00:30:42,166 Goodbye! I'll send you a postcard! 543 00:30:44,957 --> 00:30:46,957 Your Highness! Wait for me! 544 00:30:49,166 --> 00:30:51,041 Take me with you! Take me with you! 545 00:30:51,332 --> 00:30:54,624 All right. Come on! Me too! She's my daughter! 546 00:31:13,957 --> 00:31:16,041 Yoo-hoo! Mickey! 547 00:31:16,166 --> 00:31:18,041 Where are you? Who is it? 548 00:31:19,832 --> 00:31:21,707 It's me. Henry! 549 00:31:21,999 --> 00:31:24,082 Well, what in the name of all get out are you doing here? 550 00:31:24,166 --> 00:31:25,832 Well, I came over on a cattle boat. 551 00:31:25,916 --> 00:31:28,249 I didn't get much sleep, though, on account of all the mooin'. 552 00:31:28,332 --> 00:31:30,457 Oh, Henry! 553 00:31:30,582 --> 00:31:32,457 Well, you ought to see the papers back home. 554 00:31:32,582 --> 00:31:35,499 They're just full of that stuff about you and that Prince "Smirkoff" fella. 555 00:31:35,582 --> 00:31:37,082 Oh, Henry! 556 00:31:37,166 --> 00:31:40,874 Well, nobody around here talks Texas, and I had an awful time findin' ya. 557 00:31:40,957 --> 00:31:42,999 But did I get here in time? Yes. Yes, Henry. 558 00:31:43,082 --> 00:31:45,957 I didn't marry Smirnov. Well, thank my lucky stars. 559 00:31:45,957 --> 00:31:49,874 I married Mr. Kidley. Huh? Who? Mr. Ki... Who's he? 560 00:31:49,957 --> 00:31:53,374 The bean man... I just met him. Oh, shucks! 561 00:31:53,499 --> 00:31:55,582 Well, what'd ya marry him for? 562 00:31:55,707 --> 00:31:57,791 Well, because I love you, Henry. 563 00:31:57,916 --> 00:32:01,416 Well, I may be just a country boy, but I can't figure that one out. 564 00:32:03,874 --> 00:32:05,957 Yeah, yeah! 565 00:32:05,957 --> 00:32:07,957 I'll be right out. I'll be right out. 566 00:32:07,957 --> 00:32:10,832 I gotta go, Henry. You gotta go? Where you goin'? 567 00:32:10,957 --> 00:32:12,832 On my honeymoon. Your honeymoon? 568 00:32:12,957 --> 00:32:14,999 Yeah. I can't explain now. Here. 569 00:32:15,082 --> 00:32:17,957 We're goin' away some place, and then Mr. Kidley's gonna die. 570 00:32:17,957 --> 00:32:19,666 Well, what kind of talkin' is that? 571 00:32:19,749 --> 00:32:22,874 Oh! Goodbye, Henry. Good-bye? 572 00:32:22,999 --> 00:32:27,124 Goodbye, Henry. I didn't come over here just to say goodbye! 573 00:32:33,582 --> 00:32:36,582 Okay, let's go. Hey, wait a minute! Wait a minute. 574 00:32:36,707 --> 00:32:38,457 Who's that? Oh, it's Henry. 575 00:32:38,541 --> 00:32:40,416 Isn't it wonderful? He's coming on our honeymoon. 576 00:32:40,541 --> 00:32:43,874 Oh. Huh? Oh, Henry, this is my husband, Mr. Kidley. 577 00:32:43,957 --> 00:32:46,624 Oh, how do you do, Henry? Right now I ain't doin' so good. 578 00:33:16,166 --> 00:33:19,041 Yes. Will you please come around this way? 579 00:33:20,291 --> 00:33:22,166 And sign on this line. 580 00:33:23,749 --> 00:33:29,416 "Mr. And Mrs. John Kidley." 581 00:33:29,499 --> 00:33:31,999 And for your servant, we have something in the rear. 582 00:33:32,916 --> 00:33:34,416 I ain't his servant. 583 00:33:34,499 --> 00:33:36,957 Oh, isn't that funny? He thought Henry was your servant. 584 00:33:36,957 --> 00:33:40,916 No, this is Mr. Henry Munch. The man Mrs. Kidley's gonna marry. 585 00:33:40,957 --> 00:33:44,624 Oh, Mr. Munch, Mr. Ingleborg personally welcomes... 586 00:33:44,707 --> 00:33:47,082 Marry? What is? 587 00:33:47,207 --> 00:33:49,957 Mr. Munch is Mrs. Kidley's fiance. 588 00:33:50,041 --> 00:33:52,957 Oh, Papa! 589 00:33:52,957 --> 00:33:56,041 Yes. Quiet, Mama. That is not our business. 590 00:33:56,124 --> 00:33:58,124 Julius, bring upstairs the bags. 591 00:33:58,291 --> 00:34:00,957 Come on, honey. 592 00:34:00,957 --> 00:34:03,874 I'll thank you not to call her honey, you understand? 593 00:34:03,957 --> 00:34:05,874 Why, Henry! 594 00:34:05,957 --> 00:34:08,291 Oh, isn't that sweet, Mr. Kidley? Henry's jealous! 595 00:34:08,624 --> 00:34:11,707 Cuckoo, darling. There's something funny up. 596 00:34:11,791 --> 00:34:15,041 Ah, Mama, those Americans are always joking. 597 00:34:22,124 --> 00:34:25,957 Oh, Henry, that moon. 598 00:34:26,666 --> 00:34:28,541 Look at the moon. 599 00:34:28,666 --> 00:34:30,666 Yeah, it's big. 600 00:34:30,832 --> 00:34:35,041 And those mountains. Yeah. Kinda high. 601 00:34:35,207 --> 00:34:37,082 No, Henry, it's more than that. 602 00:34:37,207 --> 00:34:39,957 It... Well, look at 'em. 603 00:34:39,957 --> 00:34:41,957 Well, we got a mountain in Texas. 604 00:34:42,957 --> 00:34:44,874 But Henry! 605 00:34:44,957 --> 00:34:46,874 This place... 606 00:34:46,957 --> 00:34:48,874 This night... 607 00:34:48,957 --> 00:34:51,999 The smell of lilac. 608 00:34:52,124 --> 00:34:54,416 And you sit there whittlin' on a hunk of wood. 609 00:34:54,957 --> 00:34:56,957 Well, what should I be whittlin' on? 610 00:34:56,999 --> 00:35:00,374 Well, gee, Henry, this is the first time we've ever been alone together... 611 00:35:00,541 --> 00:35:02,499 I mean, away from Pa. 612 00:35:02,666 --> 00:35:04,541 Put your arm around me, Henry. 613 00:35:04,666 --> 00:35:06,957 Please. 614 00:35:06,957 --> 00:35:08,957 Now kiss me. 615 00:35:14,666 --> 00:35:16,416 Henry, that's no way to do it! 616 00:35:16,499 --> 00:35:18,957 I mean, kiss me as if you liked it... As if you meant it. 617 00:35:18,957 --> 00:35:22,707 Oh, I can't do it. My heart ain't in it. Why not? 618 00:35:22,832 --> 00:35:25,957 Well, I can't get it outta my mind that I'm... 619 00:35:25,957 --> 00:35:28,791 Well, that I'm kissin' somebody else's wife. 620 00:35:28,916 --> 00:35:31,416 Makes me feel like one of them playboys. 621 00:35:42,457 --> 00:35:44,374 Hey, Henry, can you still imitate a horse? 622 00:35:44,457 --> 00:35:46,582 Oh, I guess I could if I tried. 623 00:35:46,707 --> 00:35:49,957 Go on, do it. Go on. Oh, no. That's kid stuff. 624 00:35:49,957 --> 00:35:52,332 Aw, go on, Henry. Just one little horse, please. 625 00:35:52,416 --> 00:35:55,416 Well, all right. Just once. Yeah, yeah. 626 00:36:04,874 --> 00:36:06,957 I love it. Come on. Do it again, Henry. 627 00:36:11,624 --> 00:36:15,916 Look, Mama. The moon out and everything, and he makes like a horse. 628 00:36:19,416 --> 00:36:20,916 Oh, Mickey? 629 00:36:20,957 --> 00:36:23,791 Oh, pardon me. I didn't mean to... 630 00:36:23,874 --> 00:36:26,957 I just came out. I thought it was just about time for me to kick off. 631 00:36:26,957 --> 00:36:29,791 What? I mean, turn in. Go to bed. 632 00:36:29,874 --> 00:36:32,124 Good night, Mickey. 633 00:36:32,207 --> 00:36:34,624 Good night, Henry. Good night! 634 00:36:34,749 --> 00:36:36,957 Oh, Mr. Kidley, wait a minute. I'm coming right in. 635 00:36:38,332 --> 00:36:40,499 Good night, Henry. And I'll see you in the morning. 636 00:36:40,666 --> 00:36:43,041 Good night. You'll see me in the morn... 637 00:36:43,124 --> 00:36:44,666 Hey, you! 638 00:36:44,749 --> 00:36:46,832 ... I'll tuck you in, huh? Oh, thank you. 639 00:36:46,957 --> 00:36:47,957 Oh, that's all right. 640 00:36:47,999 --> 00:36:50,041 I want you to feel nice and comfortable. Very, sweet. 641 00:36:50,374 --> 00:36:52,957 It's full of feathers. Oh, yeah? 642 00:36:53,957 --> 00:36:54,957 Hey! 643 00:36:55,291 --> 00:36:58,666 Oh, Henry, doesn't Mr. Kidley look cute in his pajamas? 644 00:36:58,749 --> 00:37:02,249 Well, yeah, but... He looks so cute. 645 00:37:04,957 --> 00:37:06,957 Mr. Kidley, we gotta have a talk. 646 00:37:06,957 --> 00:37:09,374 All right, Henry. We'll talk in the morning. I've had a hard day. 647 00:37:09,499 --> 00:37:11,957 Well, in the morning won't do, Mr. Kidley. 648 00:37:11,999 --> 00:37:15,957 Well, what is it? What is it? Well, I ain't happy. 649 00:37:15,999 --> 00:37:17,916 Why, Henry, just a minute ago you were swell... 650 00:37:17,957 --> 00:37:19,457 When you were acting like a horse. 651 00:37:19,582 --> 00:37:22,541 Well, I ain't the beating-around-the-bush kind of a guy. 652 00:37:22,624 --> 00:37:24,874 If I got anything on my mind, I spit it out. 653 00:37:24,999 --> 00:37:26,832 Now, Henry, don't be that way. 654 00:37:26,916 --> 00:37:29,332 Mr. Kidley hasn't long to be with us. 655 00:37:29,416 --> 00:37:30,957 He hasn't long to be with us. 656 00:37:30,957 --> 00:37:33,457 And it's our duty to see that he's happy and... 657 00:37:33,541 --> 00:37:36,957 Happy? Well, what difference does it make to you whether he's happy or not? 658 00:37:36,999 --> 00:37:40,291 Well, after all, Henry, I am Mrs. Kidley. 659 00:37:40,416 --> 00:37:44,041 And I always say that a wife's place is in the home. Listen! 660 00:37:44,207 --> 00:37:47,124 Oh, Henry, you don't have to worry about me. 661 00:37:47,207 --> 00:37:49,166 Why, one of these mornings you'll wake up and... 662 00:37:49,332 --> 00:37:52,249 Pfft. I'll be gone. 663 00:37:52,374 --> 00:37:56,416 Mr. Kidley, I been watchin' you mighty close here of late... 664 00:37:56,582 --> 00:38:00,957 And all I got to say is that you ain't been livin' up to your promise. 665 00:38:01,041 --> 00:38:02,874 You ain't gettin' any smaller. 666 00:38:15,874 --> 00:38:17,749 Uh, who's there? 667 00:38:17,874 --> 00:38:20,207 Oh, come in. 668 00:38:22,082 --> 00:38:25,541 Good morning! Good morning! 669 00:38:25,666 --> 00:38:29,457 Well, Mama Ingleborg has fixed the breakfast herself. 670 00:38:29,541 --> 00:38:31,041 Oh, that's fine. Hey, breakfast! 671 00:38:31,124 --> 00:38:34,041 Yes, a very special breakfast... 672 00:38:34,166 --> 00:38:37,832 for our two little dummelflumphes. 673 00:38:37,916 --> 00:38:40,249 Well, that's very nice of Mama, Mr. Ingleborg. 674 00:38:40,332 --> 00:38:43,707 Yes, it sure is! 675 00:38:48,499 --> 00:38:52,457 What sticks in my craw is, everything he says is so wonderful... 676 00:38:52,582 --> 00:38:56,124 But everything I say it's, "Oh, Henry, oh, Henry, oh, Henry." 677 00:38:56,207 --> 00:38:59,249 Oh! Now, Henry, don't talk that way about Mr. Kidley. 678 00:38:59,332 --> 00:39:01,957 Oh, shucks. 679 00:39:02,041 --> 00:39:04,957 Look! He's getting that flower just for me. Risking his life. 680 00:39:14,291 --> 00:39:16,582 I got it! 681 00:39:16,666 --> 00:39:18,124 Careful! Careful! 682 00:39:18,207 --> 00:39:19,707 Oh, that ain't nothin'. 683 00:39:19,791 --> 00:39:24,082 I'd take a chance at breakin' my neck, too, if I knew I was gonna die anyway. 684 00:39:24,166 --> 00:39:25,999 Gee, thanks. 685 00:39:28,499 --> 00:39:31,957 Well, there it is. Oh, thanks, Mr. Kidley. 686 00:39:31,957 --> 00:39:34,957 For you. In the words of the poet, "You are like a flower." 687 00:39:34,957 --> 00:39:37,541 Oh, Mr. Kidley, that's so sweet. 688 00:39:37,624 --> 00:39:40,916 That's just like in the movies. Yeah. 689 00:39:40,957 --> 00:39:42,957 Well, it was original with me at the moment. 690 00:39:42,957 --> 00:39:46,041 Let me help you, Mr. Kidley. You must be a little tired. 691 00:39:46,124 --> 00:39:48,541 Let's sit down and rest a minute, huh? Yeah. 692 00:39:52,082 --> 00:39:54,957 I guess I'll run along to the hotel. You and Henry want to be alone. 693 00:39:55,041 --> 00:39:57,291 What for? The minute you do, he'll just start whittling. 694 00:39:57,374 --> 00:39:58,541 Oh, that's fine talk. 695 00:39:58,624 --> 00:40:00,957 A fella can whittle and still be in love, I guess. 696 00:40:00,999 --> 00:40:04,124 He don't have to go around shouting that poetry muck all day. 697 00:40:04,207 --> 00:40:07,249 Oh, Henry, that's where you're wrong. Women are romantic, sentimental. 698 00:40:07,332 --> 00:40:09,749 It's up to us men to humor 'em... Say pretty things. 699 00:40:09,832 --> 00:40:11,999 Oh, I suppose you could give me a lesson. 700 00:40:12,082 --> 00:40:13,791 Oh, I bet you'd be good at it too. 701 00:40:13,874 --> 00:40:15,166 Well, I have kind of been around. 702 00:40:15,249 --> 00:40:17,499 Frankly, Henry, I think you could use a few lessons. 703 00:40:17,582 --> 00:40:19,457 For instance? Well, for a starter... 704 00:40:19,541 --> 00:40:21,957 Supposing you were going to take a girl in your arms. Uh-huh. 705 00:40:21,957 --> 00:40:24,124 Now you hold her tenderly... Gently. 706 00:40:24,207 --> 00:40:26,332 Yeah, Henry, you handle me as if I was a bus. 707 00:40:26,457 --> 00:40:28,749 Oh, bosh! Now, watch, Henry. 708 00:40:28,957 --> 00:40:32,416 Now, supposing I'm you. You hold her like this, and then you kiss her. 709 00:40:35,957 --> 00:40:38,041 You see, Henry? 710 00:40:38,124 --> 00:40:40,082 - Uh-uh. No. - No? 711 00:40:40,166 --> 00:40:42,957 No? Well, show him again, Mr. Kidley. All right. 712 00:40:43,082 --> 00:40:46,457 Wait a minute. Here. Thank you. 713 00:40:46,791 --> 00:40:48,957 Oh, pardon me. 714 00:40:56,499 --> 00:40:59,874 There. Now you do it, Henry. I'll sit here and watch. 715 00:40:59,957 --> 00:41:04,666 No, sir. I don't have to kiss my girl in front of a whole crowd of people. 716 00:41:04,749 --> 00:41:06,916 Well, it's only Mr. Kidley, Henry. No. 717 00:41:06,957 --> 00:41:09,957 Aw, come on. Please? Oh, well, all right. 718 00:41:13,082 --> 00:41:17,082 Uh-uh. Well, I can't get started. 719 00:41:17,166 --> 00:41:20,166 Maybe you haven't turned on your ignition. Oh! 720 00:41:22,666 --> 00:41:25,124 There! No, that's not it, Henry. 721 00:41:25,249 --> 00:41:27,916 Would you show him again, please, Mr. Kidley? Oh, of course. 722 00:41:27,957 --> 00:41:29,916 Anything at all. Here. Hold that. Just a moment. 723 00:41:32,957 --> 00:41:35,582 Any time you get the idea, Henry, just cut in. 724 00:41:36,999 --> 00:41:40,957 Well, I don't see that he's doin' anything that I didn't do. 725 00:41:40,957 --> 00:41:43,957 Well, it's just something or other that I can't explain, Henry. 726 00:41:43,999 --> 00:41:47,457 When he does it, it's like a bunch of trained wildcats... 727 00:41:47,541 --> 00:41:50,582 But when you do it, it's more like wild mice. 728 00:41:50,666 --> 00:41:52,541 Yeah. Oh, well, I watched him close... 729 00:41:52,666 --> 00:41:54,707 And I did everything that he did... 730 00:41:54,832 --> 00:41:59,291 And I'll bet you if you had your eyes closed you couldn't tell us apart. 731 00:41:59,416 --> 00:42:01,582 All right, Henry. I'll prove it to you. 732 00:42:01,707 --> 00:42:03,582 Somebody give me a hankie. You got a hankie? 733 00:42:03,707 --> 00:42:05,582 Oh, yes, I have one here. 734 00:42:06,332 --> 00:42:08,249 Hey, no! Her, her, her! 735 00:42:08,332 --> 00:42:10,207 Oh, pardon me. Pardon me. 736 00:42:10,624 --> 00:42:12,416 All right, now I'll tie this tight. 737 00:42:12,499 --> 00:42:14,957 Now you come around in front, Mr. Kidley. All right. 738 00:42:14,957 --> 00:42:16,999 And the both of you step back now. 739 00:42:17,082 --> 00:42:18,957 And then you sneak up one at a time and kiss me... 740 00:42:18,957 --> 00:42:20,457 And I'll tell you just who it is. 741 00:42:20,666 --> 00:42:23,166 All right, step back. Go on, go on. 742 00:42:29,082 --> 00:42:30,957 Well, don't go away. 743 00:42:30,957 --> 00:42:32,957 Okay. Now, I'll count up to 10... 744 00:42:33,041 --> 00:42:34,749 And then one of you come up and kiss me. 745 00:42:34,874 --> 00:42:40,624 All right. One, two, three... 746 00:42:41,332 --> 00:42:43,166 Four... 747 00:42:43,291 --> 00:42:45,457 Five... 748 00:42:45,582 --> 00:42:49,249 Six, seven, eight... 749 00:42:49,582 --> 00:42:51,541 Nine, ten. 750 00:42:51,666 --> 00:42:55,249 You ready? Well, come on. 751 00:42:58,541 --> 00:43:00,499 That's Henry. 752 00:43:02,374 --> 00:43:05,124 That's Mr. Kidley. 753 00:43:05,249 --> 00:43:08,332 Ready again. 754 00:43:08,457 --> 00:43:10,166 That's Henry. 755 00:43:12,124 --> 00:43:13,999 That's Mr. Kidley. 756 00:43:16,957 --> 00:43:20,416 That's Henry, still handling me like I was a bus. 757 00:43:23,957 --> 00:43:26,207 Why, Henry, how dare you take your shirt off. 758 00:43:26,291 --> 00:43:28,166 I'm surprised, I... 759 00:43:32,041 --> 00:43:36,957 Mr. Kidley! Henry! 760 00:43:50,666 --> 00:43:52,957 Yes, sir. I can leave immediately, sir. 761 00:43:52,999 --> 00:43:55,957 Just a minute, sir. I'll write it down. 762 00:43:57,457 --> 00:43:59,957 "Ingleborg Haus... 763 00:44:02,832 --> 00:44:04,957 "Ingleborg." 764 00:44:04,957 --> 00:44:07,291 I've got it, sir. 765 00:44:07,416 --> 00:44:09,957 Forgive the liberty, sir, but, uh... 766 00:44:10,041 --> 00:44:12,166 How is everything? 767 00:44:16,791 --> 00:44:18,666 No? 768 00:44:20,416 --> 00:44:24,166 Well, don't forget, sir, the bird on the wing and all that. 769 00:44:24,666 --> 00:44:27,082 No, sir, no one but Dr. Schmidt. 770 00:44:27,207 --> 00:44:29,999 He's been bothering me quite a bit. 771 00:44:30,082 --> 00:44:32,749 Oh, he wants to know ff, when it happens... 772 00:44:32,916 --> 00:44:34,957 He can have your stomach. 773 00:44:35,041 --> 00:44:37,749 Wants to put it in a bottle or something. 774 00:44:37,874 --> 00:44:41,124 Yes, I told him I'd have to ask you first, sir. 775 00:44:41,249 --> 00:44:43,624 Don't worry, sir. I'll travel incognito. 776 00:44:43,749 --> 00:44:49,332 Oh, Mrs. Marko found her car, sir, just where you abandoned it. 777 00:44:49,416 --> 00:44:52,666 Oh, no, sir. Not a soul knows of your whereabouts. 778 00:44:52,791 --> 00:44:56,249 But I've got it... "Ingleborg Haus." 779 00:44:56,374 --> 00:44:58,707 At last I have got it! 780 00:44:58,832 --> 00:45:01,249 Ingleborg Haus. Where's that? 781 00:45:03,374 --> 00:45:04,707 Ingleborg! 782 00:45:04,791 --> 00:45:06,791 Thank you, dear. Come on, let's go. Hurry! 783 00:45:19,416 --> 00:45:22,957 Hey, don't you think it's about time we ought to go to bed? 784 00:45:27,582 --> 00:45:29,499 Hey! Hey! 785 00:46:24,082 --> 00:46:25,791 Now, Mickey... 786 00:46:32,166 --> 00:46:33,957 Now, Mick... 787 00:46:55,999 --> 00:46:57,207 Oi! 788 00:46:57,874 --> 00:46:59,957 Now, see here. I... 789 00:48:01,999 --> 00:48:03,957 Stop it, now. Stop it. 790 00:48:08,957 --> 00:48:10,957 Yahoo! Yippee! 791 00:48:14,832 --> 00:48:18,207 Just stop it! 792 00:48:19,624 --> 00:48:21,957 Stop it! Stop it. 793 00:48:21,957 --> 00:48:24,916 Oh. Excuse, please. 794 00:48:24,957 --> 00:48:29,999 Mr. Kidley, what do you mean by traipsing around with my girl past 1:00 in the morning? 795 00:48:30,124 --> 00:48:32,457 Oh, we never had such a time, Henry. We went to a cheese festival. 796 00:48:32,582 --> 00:48:34,832 Yeah, we had wine and cheese. And singing. 797 00:48:34,916 --> 00:48:38,957 Cheese festival? Well, that ain't cheese, Mr. Kidley. 798 00:48:38,957 --> 00:48:41,582 Oh. Oh, that. You see, we stopped... 799 00:48:41,707 --> 00:48:44,499 Oh, yeah, Henry. We stopped and just now... 800 00:48:44,624 --> 00:48:46,582 When I was singin' the song I gave him a little, uh... 801 00:48:46,707 --> 00:48:49,082 I... Well, you were right there. I mean, I... I... 802 00:48:49,207 --> 00:48:50,957 Now, Mickey, hush. I've heard enough. 803 00:48:50,957 --> 00:48:53,207 Now, you run right along upstairs to bed. 804 00:48:54,166 --> 00:48:56,832 Mickey. Mickey. But I... 805 00:48:56,957 --> 00:48:59,374 But ... Henry, you can't order your wife around like that. 806 00:48:59,457 --> 00:49:03,082 Oh, I can't, huh? Well, she ain't my wife, she's your wife. 807 00:49:03,166 --> 00:49:05,332 Y... Oh, yeah! 808 00:49:05,457 --> 00:49:08,957 Say, thanks for reminding me. Mickey, go to bed. 809 00:49:08,957 --> 00:49:10,374 Oh. Mickey... 810 00:49:10,457 --> 00:49:12,999 Good night, boys. 811 00:49:13,666 --> 00:49:15,041 Good night. Good night, Mickey. 812 00:49:15,124 --> 00:49:17,957 Well, I guess that's all, men. Here you are. Thanks. It was a lot of fun. 813 00:49:18,041 --> 00:49:20,291 - We'll get Mrs. Kidley and do it again sometime. - Okay. 814 00:49:20,374 --> 00:49:24,041 Oh, no, you won't. Now that she's gone I wanna tell you... 815 00:49:24,124 --> 00:49:28,207 You're mighty fortunate I just don't tear you to pieces. Why, Henry. 816 00:49:28,291 --> 00:49:31,207 And with my bare hands. 817 00:49:31,332 --> 00:49:34,124 Excuse, please, she must close. Well, close it. 818 00:49:34,249 --> 00:49:36,207 Hey, you. Now, wait a minute. I was just going... 819 00:49:36,291 --> 00:49:38,541 You're just going to listen to me. 820 00:49:38,624 --> 00:49:41,541 As long as we're in Ingleborg, you're not gettin' out of my sight again. 821 00:49:41,624 --> 00:49:44,457 No, sir. Not for two seconds. 822 00:50:23,332 --> 00:50:27,249 Hey, where do you think you're goin'? Oh, I... 823 00:50:27,374 --> 00:50:30,957 Drink. I was gonna get some water. I was... 824 00:50:30,999 --> 00:50:33,416 Well, you've been up for water every two minutes. 825 00:50:33,541 --> 00:50:35,957 Well, I'll tell you truth. I wanna see Mickey. 826 00:50:36,124 --> 00:50:39,207 I've got somethin' to tell her. A man can talk to his own wife, can't he? 827 00:50:39,291 --> 00:50:40,582 No! 828 00:50:40,666 --> 00:50:41,957 Henry, I know what's the matter with you. 829 00:50:41,999 --> 00:50:43,957 You don't trust me. That's what's the matter with you. 830 00:50:43,957 --> 00:50:45,999 You're darn tootin' I don't. 831 00:50:46,124 --> 00:50:49,957 Now, I don't want any trouble with you. You get back here in bed. 832 00:50:51,957 --> 00:50:54,582 You and your old whittlin's. 833 00:50:54,707 --> 00:50:56,957 I'd rather sleep with a cracker eater. 834 00:50:56,957 --> 00:50:59,249 It's not comfortable. 835 00:51:18,707 --> 00:51:20,582 Oh, now, wait a minute. Just a second. 836 00:51:20,666 --> 00:51:24,041 I have a little something to say about this. I... 837 00:51:24,124 --> 00:51:25,957 What are you doin'? 838 00:51:25,957 --> 00:51:28,041 There. That'll fix that. 839 00:51:28,166 --> 00:51:30,332 Oh, Henry, this is so unjust. 840 00:51:32,957 --> 00:51:35,249 Not so tight. Leave a little blood in there. 841 00:51:35,374 --> 00:51:39,541 There. My circulation is practically at a standstill now. 842 00:51:39,666 --> 00:51:41,541 Now hush. 843 00:51:52,624 --> 00:51:53,666 Ohm 844 00:53:22,249 --> 00:53:24,166 Good night. Good night. 845 00:53:26,332 --> 00:53:28,916 I'm gonna put my foot on top of yours... 846 00:53:29,999 --> 00:53:32,916 And don't you move once the rest of the night. 847 00:53:45,957 --> 00:53:48,291 Hello. Hey, Julius. 848 00:53:50,124 --> 00:53:52,582 Would you like to make five bucks? 50 samelkas? 849 00:53:52,916 --> 00:53:55,082 Well, what do I have to do for... Shh, shh! 850 00:53:55,832 --> 00:53:58,207 Take off your shoe. I wanna use your foot. 851 00:53:58,291 --> 00:54:00,457 My feet? Shh. Foot. Come on. 852 00:55:02,957 --> 00:55:05,541 Honey? You're not asleep, are ya? 853 00:55:06,957 --> 00:55:08,374 Honey? 854 00:55:08,957 --> 00:55:10,624 I've gotta talk to ya. 855 00:55:11,041 --> 00:55:14,416 Maybe I've got no right, but after tonight, well, 856 00:55:14,666 --> 00:55:19,207 no matter who gets hurt, we've gotta face it. We belong to each other. 857 00:55:19,291 --> 00:55:21,707 Honey, please talk to me. 858 00:55:21,957 --> 00:55:24,249 You see, Mickey, I... 859 00:55:24,707 --> 00:55:26,457 Gee, you look tired. I guess... 860 00:55:30,582 --> 00:55:31,957 Listen, Mama... 861 00:55:35,957 --> 00:55:39,041 Mr. Kidley! Please! 862 00:55:39,166 --> 00:55:42,541 Well I... I was... And... 863 00:55:42,666 --> 00:55:44,541 I was... 864 00:55:45,416 --> 00:55:48,541 Yeah. Wrong room, I guess. 865 00:56:14,291 --> 00:56:15,749 You! 866 00:56:19,916 --> 00:56:23,957 Quiet! Quiet! Quiet! 867 00:56:23,957 --> 00:56:25,957 Now, you all got to stop pickin' on Mr. Kidley. 868 00:56:26,374 --> 00:56:29,791 It's like he's been tryin' to tell ya, he's sittin' here digestin' himself. 869 00:56:30,749 --> 00:56:33,957 And if you don't stop screamin' at him, it's liable to happen right here. 870 00:56:33,999 --> 00:56:36,374 And then you'll be sorry. I don't care! 871 00:56:36,707 --> 00:56:39,082 I don't care if he's digesting his entire family! 872 00:56:39,166 --> 00:56:42,832 I am insulted! I am the one that is being squeezed. 873 00:56:42,916 --> 00:56:45,374 Right under my nose, on my own wedding day, 874 00:56:45,457 --> 00:56:47,957 she marries this gentleman in the red pajamas. 875 00:56:47,957 --> 00:56:49,374 Then when he goes... 876 00:56:49,499 --> 00:56:51,832 She marries this gentleman in the striped pajamas. 877 00:56:52,207 --> 00:56:56,332 And where am I? I am standing around with egg on my face! 878 00:56:57,957 --> 00:57:02,457 And if he has egg on his face, somebody's tossed a whole omelet on mine. 879 00:57:02,541 --> 00:57:03,874 I don't like it. 880 00:57:03,957 --> 00:57:05,957 Oh, but Mr. Kidley doesn't love you. 881 00:57:05,957 --> 00:57:09,416 Why, look what he did. Rather than marry you, he married me. 882 00:57:09,499 --> 00:57:12,624 Yeah, that's the part of this whole thing that burns me up. 883 00:57:13,666 --> 00:57:18,166 Mr. Kidley, what I wanna know is what're you gonna do about this mess you got us into? 884 00:57:18,332 --> 00:57:20,957 Yeah! Well, it's all very simple. 885 00:57:20,957 --> 00:57:23,666 You're all taken care of in my will. Well, how so? 886 00:57:23,791 --> 00:57:27,166 Henry, I'm not gonna waste a lot of time telling you how much I admire you, 887 00:57:27,249 --> 00:57:28,541 because I don't. 888 00:57:28,624 --> 00:57:31,957 But I'm gonna leave you enough money to choke a horse, and I hope it does choke ya. 889 00:57:32,249 --> 00:57:34,957 Mr. Kidley, I resent that! 890 00:57:35,041 --> 00:57:37,124 We are now back at the front from where we started. 891 00:57:37,207 --> 00:57:38,666 I'm still with egg over my face. 892 00:57:38,749 --> 00:57:41,166 I know. I'm wiping that off in paragraph three. 893 00:57:41,249 --> 00:57:44,832 I know marriage with you is a business proposition, and I've ruined your business. 894 00:57:44,957 --> 00:57:48,416 So I'm prepared to marry you. I mean, pay you off in full. 895 00:57:49,957 --> 00:57:54,332 Mr. Kidley, Prince Alexis Cassandro Michael Smirnov thanks you. 896 00:57:57,874 --> 00:58:01,207 I do not wish to talk like a peasant, but there is something that I must know. 897 00:58:01,957 --> 00:58:04,374 Tell me, how soon do you expect to go... 898 00:58:04,457 --> 00:58:07,999 Poor Mr. Kidley has only 18 days left. Haven't you, poor Mr. Kidley? 899 00:58:08,207 --> 00:58:10,624 Yes, any time now. It's... Good. 900 00:58:10,832 --> 00:58:12,291 - What do you mean, "Good"? - Oh, John dear. 901 00:58:12,374 --> 00:58:13,957 There's a little thing known as breach of promise. 902 00:58:13,999 --> 00:58:16,416 You won't mind if I send my lawyers to see you, will you dear? 903 00:58:16,499 --> 00:58:19,624 That won't be necessary. I've taken care of that in paragraph six. 904 00:58:19,707 --> 00:58:22,916 You go out and buy yourself a nice solid-gold shooting gallery. 905 00:58:22,957 --> 00:58:26,249 Oh, John! I'm sentimentally touched. 906 00:58:26,374 --> 00:58:29,749 I'll see that they put flowers on you every Father's Day. Yes, I... 907 00:58:29,832 --> 00:58:32,332 She probably gets 'em wholesale. What I want to know is... 908 00:58:32,457 --> 00:58:34,457 Oh, shut up, Henry. Mr. Kidley, I guess 909 00:58:34,541 --> 00:58:36,582 this just about takes care of everything. 910 00:58:36,666 --> 00:58:38,249 Yes. Now, folks, let's get out of here and leave 911 00:58:38,332 --> 00:58:39,416 the two honeymooners alone. 912 00:58:39,499 --> 00:58:41,957 Come on, Henry. Well, I'm one of the honeymooners! 913 00:58:41,957 --> 00:58:45,041 Oh, shut up and get outta here! All of my clothes are... 914 00:58:46,957 --> 00:58:50,541 Mr. Kidley. You have promised me to die. 915 00:58:51,457 --> 00:58:55,916 I am warning you that I will be around personally to see that you do it. 916 00:59:03,291 --> 00:59:04,707 Henry. 917 00:59:05,291 --> 00:59:06,999 I may call you Henry, mayn't I? 918 00:59:07,499 --> 00:59:09,957 Yes, ma'am, and I'll call you Mrs. Marko. 919 00:59:10,916 --> 00:59:13,249 Well, Henry, when Mr. Kidley... 920 00:59:13,332 --> 00:59:17,332 I mean, when it happens, you'll come into quite a tidy sum, won't you, Henry? 921 00:59:17,416 --> 00:59:19,499 Mmm, yes, ma'am, I guess I will. 922 00:59:19,957 --> 00:59:24,249 Dear Henry, I want you and Mrs. Kidley to be very happy. 923 00:59:24,332 --> 00:59:27,582 And if things don't work out, it may make it easier for you to know 924 00:59:27,666 --> 00:59:30,124 that there'll always be someone waiting for you. 925 00:59:30,374 --> 00:59:31,957 There will? 926 00:59:32,832 --> 00:59:36,207 Oh. You're a very attractive man, Henry. 927 00:59:36,957 --> 00:59:38,957 I mustn't say any more than that right now. 928 00:59:38,957 --> 00:59:42,374 Well, you're kind of pretty yourself, Mrs. Marko. 929 00:59:42,457 --> 00:59:43,957 That's sweet of you. 930 00:59:44,957 --> 00:59:48,957 Henry, if you don't mind my suggesting it, I could have my lawyers, 931 00:59:48,957 --> 00:59:51,624 they're very good, go over Mr. Kidley's will. 932 00:59:51,707 --> 00:59:53,957 I'm just watching out for your interests. 933 00:59:53,957 --> 00:59:56,957 Well, doggone it, ma'am, and me just meetin' ya. 934 00:59:56,957 --> 00:59:58,957 That sure is kind. 935 00:59:58,957 --> 01:00:00,707 Mighty kind. 936 01:00:05,624 --> 01:00:07,832 Good morning, ma'am. Good morning, sir. 937 01:00:07,957 --> 01:00:09,374 Good morning, Jeepers. 938 01:00:09,457 --> 01:00:12,957 Your mail, sir, from Bad Gaswasser. Just throw it away, Jeepers. 939 01:00:12,999 --> 01:00:15,207 Oh, but, sir, there may be something important. 940 01:00:15,291 --> 01:00:17,749 Nothing is important, Jeepers, but living. 941 01:00:17,832 --> 01:00:21,541 That's the spirit, sir. I noticed a change in you the moment I arrived. 942 01:00:21,624 --> 01:00:23,957 Yes, you can thank Mickey for that. Thank you, Mickey. 943 01:00:23,957 --> 01:00:26,416 Uh, Mrs. Kidley. Okay, Jeepers. 944 01:00:26,499 --> 01:00:30,124 Yes, sir, if I may say so, you're bubbling over, sir. Just bubbling over. 945 01:00:30,666 --> 01:00:32,541 That's the coffee, Jeepers. Oh. 946 01:00:32,749 --> 01:00:35,332 Uh, Jeepers, will you order some more heavy cream? 947 01:00:37,957 --> 01:00:41,291 Very good, sir. 948 01:00:43,791 --> 01:00:48,791 Mr. Kidley, isn't there somethin' that you get a great big kick out of doin'? 949 01:00:48,874 --> 01:00:52,291 I mean, there's not much time before you D-I-E. 950 01:00:53,957 --> 01:00:57,957 And I just want you to remember these last few days as long as you live. 951 01:00:58,832 --> 01:01:01,499 Well, there's one... Let's see... 952 01:01:01,582 --> 01:01:03,916 Do you mind if I write on this? It's from that druggist. 953 01:01:03,957 --> 01:01:06,457 What druggist? You know, in Bad Gaswasser. 954 01:01:06,541 --> 01:01:09,666 He probably wants to sell me something. "Kipper, a dog." 955 01:01:09,749 --> 01:01:11,957 Yeah, yeah. He wants to sell you a dog. 956 01:01:12,666 --> 01:01:15,957 Say, that's a pretty hairdo. Thank you. 957 01:01:16,957 --> 01:01:20,957 Well, we're going to figure out right now what to do with your last 18 days. 958 01:01:21,541 --> 01:01:24,999 Uh... Have you ever seen the Sphinx? No. Is it good? 959 01:01:25,082 --> 01:01:28,041 Well, we're gonna see it. We? Henry too? 960 01:01:28,124 --> 01:01:31,957 No, we don't want him around our Sphinx. He'll only start whittlin' on it. 961 01:01:33,457 --> 01:01:35,457 Sphinx. One day. 962 01:01:36,541 --> 01:01:38,124 What's he so sorry about? 963 01:01:38,874 --> 01:01:42,457 What's who what? This druggist. He sure is sorry. 964 01:01:42,541 --> 01:01:45,582 "Had your acidity test mixed with a dog's, Kipper." 965 01:01:45,666 --> 01:01:47,749 Say, I know where we could spend about six days. 966 01:01:47,832 --> 01:01:49,874 There must be a bicycle race around here somewhere. 967 01:01:50,082 --> 01:01:52,041 Mr. Kidley, listen. 968 01:01:52,166 --> 01:01:55,916 Listen. "Kipper, whose name sounds not unlike your own." 969 01:01:56,957 --> 01:02:01,916 Mr. Kidley, Kipper's a dog, and you're not. 970 01:02:02,249 --> 01:02:04,582 What? Well, I mean, it... 971 01:02:04,666 --> 01:02:05,999 It says so right here. 972 01:02:06,874 --> 01:02:09,207 You got all mixed up with Kipper. Kippers? 973 01:02:09,332 --> 01:02:11,957 No, listen, listen. 974 01:02:12,332 --> 01:02:15,957 "I am happy to report that both you and the dog are entirely normal." 975 01:02:15,957 --> 01:02:18,124 Normal. 976 01:02:18,374 --> 01:02:20,957 Oh. Well, you're both all right! 977 01:02:20,957 --> 01:02:22,957 Oh, well, sure. I wouldn't want to buy a dog... 978 01:02:25,374 --> 01:02:28,832 "I am happy to report that both you and the dog are entirely normal." 979 01:02:28,916 --> 01:02:30,957 "You're both all right." It's wonderful! You're not going to die. 980 01:02:30,957 --> 01:02:34,041 You're gonna live! Hooray! It's wonderful! It's great! That's... 981 01:02:34,999 --> 01:02:37,082 Or is it? Why, of course it is. 982 01:02:37,207 --> 01:02:40,249 I know, but that gang... I promised them I was gonna kick off. 983 01:02:40,916 --> 01:02:42,124 They're gonna be sore about this. 984 01:02:42,207 --> 01:02:44,207 Tell 'em you were only foolin'. 985 01:02:44,416 --> 01:02:47,041 What, fooling with an Olympic pistol champion and a duelist? 986 01:02:47,499 --> 01:02:51,499 Say, if I don't die on time something serious is liable to happen to me. 987 01:02:52,041 --> 01:02:54,957 Here. Nobody will know anything happened, what it's all about. 988 01:02:55,457 --> 01:02:57,249 We won't tell anybody a thing. 989 01:02:57,999 --> 01:03:01,457 Oh, Mr. Kidley, we... Now we're really married. Uh-huh. 990 01:03:01,582 --> 01:03:04,082 I mean, just like Ma and Pa, 991 01:03:04,457 --> 01:03:07,291 and Mrs. Marko and, well, everybody. 992 01:03:07,374 --> 01:03:09,457 Oh, yeah! Yeah... Oh. 993 01:03:09,957 --> 01:03:12,957 Oh, what about Henry? Oh, yeah, Henry. 994 01:03:12,999 --> 01:03:15,791 Well... Well, don't worry about him. I'll... I'll take care of him. 995 01:03:43,082 --> 01:03:45,124 Mr. Kidley. Hello, Henry. 996 01:03:45,207 --> 01:03:48,541 Could I speak to you for a moment, please? Sure. What's on your mind? 997 01:03:48,624 --> 01:03:52,957 Well, it's about Mickey and me too. I ain't happy again. 998 01:03:52,999 --> 01:03:54,957 Why, what seems to be the trouble, Henry? 999 01:03:54,957 --> 01:03:58,416 Well, I know you don't like me and I can't blame you for it. 1000 01:03:58,541 --> 01:04:01,291 But I like you. Henry, I like you! 1001 01:04:01,374 --> 01:04:06,707 Let me finish, Mr. Kidley. Here you are doin' everything for me, and, 1002 01:04:06,791 --> 01:04:11,082 well, I want you to know that you're one of the finest men I ever met up with. 1003 01:04:11,166 --> 01:04:13,207 Well, Henry, I'm... 1004 01:04:13,291 --> 01:04:15,957 I mean, I'm not really like you say at all. 1005 01:04:15,957 --> 01:04:18,707 Why, Henry, If you only knew me. I'd double-cross my own... 1006 01:04:18,791 --> 01:04:21,582 Oh now, Mr. Kidley, I won't let you say a word again' yourself. 1007 01:04:21,749 --> 01:04:23,957 I guess I know a man when I see one. 1008 01:04:25,041 --> 01:04:28,499 I know I'm nothing but a poor bus driver and, 1009 01:04:28,666 --> 01:04:32,832 well, you could cut me out with Mickey just like that if you wanted to. 1010 01:04:32,957 --> 01:04:35,499 Well, I don't know, Henry. 1011 01:04:36,332 --> 01:04:37,916 Things are different now. 1012 01:04:38,832 --> 01:04:39,957 I mean, I just found out that... 1013 01:04:39,957 --> 01:04:44,582 Shucks, Mr. Kidley. You've done everything to make me and Mickey happy, 1014 01:04:44,666 --> 01:04:47,832 and, well, I guess you know how I feel about her. 1015 01:04:47,916 --> 01:04:50,916 I guess you know how I feel about you too. 1016 01:04:50,957 --> 01:04:53,666 And well, that's all. I just had to let it out. 1017 01:04:53,791 --> 01:04:56,957 Except, I'd like to shake your hand and tell you how sorry I am 1018 01:04:57,041 --> 01:05:01,207 for bein' such a fool suspicionin' you. 1019 01:05:01,291 --> 01:05:03,749 Well, don't worry about a thing, Henry. You're okay. 1020 01:05:03,916 --> 01:05:05,499 Thanks, Mr. Kidley. 1021 01:05:31,541 --> 01:05:34,416 Here, boy. I want you to take this to Mr. Henry Munch. 1022 01:05:39,457 --> 01:05:40,874 Do you know him? Yes, ma'am. 1023 01:05:40,957 --> 01:05:43,957 All right. Here is something for you. Thank you. 1024 01:05:48,082 --> 01:05:51,957 Hello, Mickey. Oh, Mr. Kidley. I was just going to find you. 1025 01:05:52,957 --> 01:05:54,832 Uh, look, Mickey... I just sent... 1026 01:05:54,916 --> 01:05:57,041 I've been thinking this whole thing over. 1027 01:05:57,124 --> 01:05:59,957 I mean, now that I'm gonna live and everything, I... 1028 01:06:00,957 --> 01:06:04,832 It kinda changes the whole setup. It kinda puts a different angle on it. 1029 01:06:04,957 --> 01:06:06,332 I don't know what you mean, Mr. Kidley. 1030 01:06:06,416 --> 01:06:11,207 Well, after all, we hardly knew each other, and this whole thing was a put-up job. 1031 01:06:11,291 --> 01:06:13,957 You know, marriage is a serious sort of thing, if you think of it... 1032 01:06:14,249 --> 01:06:18,291 You mean you... You don't want to be married to me, Mr. Kidley? 1033 01:06:18,374 --> 01:06:20,957 Well, it was a lot of fun and everything, Mickey, 1034 01:06:20,957 --> 01:06:22,916 but for it to be for the rest of our lives, I... 1035 01:06:22,957 --> 01:06:23,957 You mean you don't love me? 1036 01:06:24,416 --> 01:06:27,124 Well, frankly, Mickey, I guess I don't. 1037 01:06:28,957 --> 01:06:30,957 Naturally, I'll give you the divorce. 1038 01:06:32,957 --> 01:06:34,624 You won't have any trouble. 1039 01:06:34,999 --> 01:06:38,041 And after everything's set, you must go back to Henry. 1040 01:06:39,374 --> 01:06:41,499 Well, it... 1041 01:06:41,957 --> 01:06:44,874 It was nice being married to you, Mr. Kidley, 1042 01:06:45,707 --> 01:06:46,999 even if we weren't, really. 1043 01:06:47,082 --> 01:06:48,791 Yeah, it was a lot of fun. 1044 01:06:50,291 --> 01:06:52,249 It's kind of a surprise. I... 1045 01:06:53,249 --> 01:06:55,082 I mean, I thought it was gonna... 1046 01:06:56,624 --> 01:07:00,499 Well, I guess that's the way things are with things, huh? 1047 01:07:00,582 --> 01:07:03,582 Oh, sure. Things have a way of always turning out right, Mickey. 1048 01:07:03,666 --> 01:07:04,957 Yeah. 1049 01:07:05,082 --> 01:07:07,957 Well... I'll be seeing you. 1050 01:07:15,791 --> 01:07:17,666 I... 1051 01:07:54,207 --> 01:07:57,457 Kretsky, I have been double-crossed. 1052 01:07:57,541 --> 01:08:00,166 This dog man, he is without honor. 1053 01:08:00,249 --> 01:08:03,749 He will be walking the streets alive, breathing the air, 1054 01:08:03,874 --> 01:08:06,874 listening to the birds, going to the opera, the movies. 1055 01:08:06,957 --> 01:08:10,416 While I... What will I be doing all that time? 1056 01:08:10,499 --> 01:08:14,291 Well, unless you do something, starting tomorrow, 1057 01:08:14,374 --> 01:08:17,124 Your Highness will be rotting in jail. 1058 01:08:21,332 --> 01:08:22,791 But what is there to do? 1059 01:08:22,957 --> 01:08:24,541 What is there to do? 1060 01:08:25,999 --> 01:08:28,249 My friend, there is only one thing. 1061 01:08:31,499 --> 01:08:34,707 Kretsky, you are even a bigger stinker than I think. 1062 01:08:34,832 --> 01:08:36,791 Yeah. 1063 01:08:37,457 --> 01:08:39,666 Yes, well that is all very fine. 1064 01:08:39,791 --> 01:08:41,999 But what good is it for me to make him go... 1065 01:08:42,457 --> 01:08:45,666 ...if to me they are going... 1066 01:08:46,332 --> 01:08:48,832 Your Highness, you amaze me. 1067 01:08:48,916 --> 01:08:53,499 It's all very simple. You make it look like an affair of honor. 1068 01:08:53,624 --> 01:08:55,874 It will not be your first duel. 1069 01:08:57,166 --> 01:08:58,749 Kretsky. 1070 01:09:00,832 --> 01:09:03,166 Kidley, he is in the bag. 1071 01:09:05,374 --> 01:09:07,457 Crepe Suzette? Yeah, I guess so. 1072 01:09:07,541 --> 01:09:08,957 Merci. 1073 01:09:11,749 --> 01:09:13,624 Oh, Mickey. 1074 01:09:13,707 --> 01:09:16,957 Oh, you're going. I mean, those are your bags? 1075 01:09:16,957 --> 01:09:20,166 Yes. They're my bags. 1076 01:09:21,791 --> 01:09:24,499 Well, goodbye, Mr. Kidley. 1077 01:09:24,791 --> 01:09:27,749 Well, you're really going. Well, goodbye. 1078 01:09:27,832 --> 01:09:29,749 I'll be thinking a lot about you. 1079 01:09:30,249 --> 01:09:32,166 I'll be thinking about you too, Mr. Kidley. 1080 01:09:32,249 --> 01:09:35,957 Mr. Kidley. 1081 01:09:36,624 --> 01:09:39,957 You have tricked us. Oh, this. Well, you see, Smirnov, 1082 01:09:39,957 --> 01:09:41,124 I didn't know, myself. This is all... 1083 01:09:41,499 --> 01:09:44,707 That's right. Until yesterday, he thought he was a dog. 1084 01:09:44,791 --> 01:09:46,957 Really? This is wasting time. 1085 01:09:46,999 --> 01:09:51,082 Yes. Mr. Kidley, I do not like your face. 1086 01:09:51,957 --> 01:09:54,207 Yeah, well, if you had a face, I wouldn't like it either. 1087 01:09:54,291 --> 01:09:56,082 That is an insult, yes? Yes. 1088 01:09:56,166 --> 01:09:58,124 All right. Mr. Kidley, I challenge you... 1089 01:09:58,207 --> 01:09:59,874 Hold on, now, wait a minute! Wait a minute! 1090 01:09:59,957 --> 01:10:04,957 I apologize. And I also apologize for that poke I gave you after the wedding. 1091 01:10:04,957 --> 01:10:07,124 What are you apologizing for? Don't take that from him. 1092 01:10:07,207 --> 01:10:09,624 He's trying to pick a fight with me. He wants to shoot me full of holes. 1093 01:10:09,707 --> 01:10:12,624 Oh! Well, well, don't get mad at him. Smile. 1094 01:10:12,791 --> 01:10:14,582 Something physical. Ah. 1095 01:10:16,416 --> 01:10:20,124 Mr. Kidley, if I should take this pigeonette 1096 01:10:20,207 --> 01:10:23,166 and push it in your face, what will you do? 1097 01:10:23,249 --> 01:10:25,957 Why, I'd get so mad, I'd probably... How mad, Mr. Kidley? 1098 01:10:25,957 --> 01:10:29,666 Uh, well, sorta mad. Not very! 1099 01:10:29,749 --> 01:10:32,082 No, I'd be more hurt than anything else. 1100 01:10:32,166 --> 01:10:35,957 I'd probably go away and never speak to you again. 1101 01:10:59,749 --> 01:11:01,624 Why, you... 1102 01:11:05,041 --> 01:11:06,791 There. How do you like that? 1103 01:11:08,499 --> 01:11:09,832 Not bad. I like it. 1104 01:11:09,916 --> 01:11:12,291 Yeah, that's very cute. Do it to me, Mr. Smirnov. 1105 01:11:15,207 --> 01:11:17,624 Are they wearing this type this year? Ah... I... 1106 01:11:19,499 --> 01:11:21,874 Why, you, I oughta push in your... Push in my what? 1107 01:11:21,957 --> 01:11:24,541 Oh, you can't make him mad, Mr. Smirnov no matter what you do. 1108 01:11:26,582 --> 01:11:28,374 See? 1109 01:11:33,207 --> 01:11:35,749 Very good natured. 1110 01:11:40,957 --> 01:11:43,124 See? Nothing bothers him. 1111 01:11:44,957 --> 01:11:46,999 Does it? 1112 01:11:48,957 --> 01:11:50,957 All right, Mickey. I think we sold him. 1113 01:11:51,041 --> 01:11:52,791 Okay. All right. 1114 01:11:55,332 --> 01:11:56,957 This time I think up something for myself. 1115 01:11:57,416 --> 01:12:00,082 Your dessert, monsieur. Crepe Suzette. 1116 01:12:02,832 --> 01:12:05,957 Mrs. Kidley, I do not like your shoes. 1117 01:12:06,124 --> 01:12:07,791 I do not like your dress. 1118 01:12:08,957 --> 01:12:10,957 And I do not like your hat. 1119 01:12:12,999 --> 01:12:15,957 Oh! My new hat! How do you like that, Mr. Kidley? 1120 01:12:15,957 --> 01:12:17,499 Why you, I... Let it go! 1121 01:12:17,582 --> 01:12:19,624 Let it go? Just a minute! 1122 01:12:19,791 --> 01:12:20,791 This gentleman here! 1123 01:12:20,999 --> 01:12:22,749 Now perhaps, uh? 1124 01:12:22,957 --> 01:12:24,791 Your Highness, you're a cutie. 1125 01:12:27,707 --> 01:12:31,124 Everybody is a witness! I have been insulted! 1126 01:12:31,249 --> 01:12:34,374 Oh, no! You haven't been insulted yet. You have to be good natured too. 1127 01:12:34,582 --> 01:12:37,166 Coffee, 1128 01:12:37,291 --> 01:12:38,624 cream, 1129 01:12:40,832 --> 01:12:43,166 and asparagus and peas. 1130 01:12:43,749 --> 01:12:45,957 Now you have been insulted. 1131 01:12:45,957 --> 01:12:49,666 Oh, Mr. Kidley, you did it for me! That proves it. You do love me. 1132 01:12:49,749 --> 01:12:52,374 Sure I do, Mickey. But what's the difference now? 1133 01:12:52,666 --> 01:12:53,666 Now, listen, Smirnov. 1134 01:12:53,957 --> 01:12:55,874 We didn't mean it, Mr. Smirnov. 1135 01:12:55,957 --> 01:12:57,582 We didn't mean to throw all those things on you. 1136 01:12:57,749 --> 01:13:00,707 Mr. Kidley, my seconds will call on you. 1137 01:13:00,874 --> 01:13:03,291 We meet at dawn at the three dead oaks. 1138 01:13:03,541 --> 01:13:06,666 I'm sure I'll never find the place. We will take you there. 1139 01:13:11,999 --> 01:13:13,749 Did he say "dead oaks"? 1140 01:13:14,457 --> 01:13:15,957 Dead oaks. 1141 01:13:39,082 --> 01:13:40,416 Mr. Kidley. Yes? 1142 01:13:40,499 --> 01:13:42,957 Please to stand up at that end of the field. That end? 1143 01:13:42,957 --> 01:13:45,374 His Highness does not like to shoot with the sun in his eyes. 1144 01:13:45,457 --> 01:13:46,957 Oh, that's all right. 1145 01:13:47,666 --> 01:13:50,082 How do you like that? That guy Smirnov kills me. 1146 01:13:50,166 --> 01:13:51,749 You said it. 1147 01:13:52,957 --> 01:13:54,541 He's supposed to be my second. 1148 01:13:54,624 --> 01:13:56,541 He's supposed to be on my side, isn't he? Pistols. 1149 01:13:56,957 --> 01:13:59,624 Oh, those are the... This way, sir. 1150 01:14:03,124 --> 01:14:05,957 He will be ready soon. Don't hurry him. 1151 01:14:11,166 --> 01:14:12,624 Very good. 1152 01:14:12,957 --> 01:14:16,541 Reload, please. Only this time with a little more... 1153 01:14:18,207 --> 01:14:19,499 Come. 1154 01:14:26,999 --> 01:14:30,166 What are you doin' now? I'm reloading the pistols. 1155 01:14:30,916 --> 01:14:34,374 With real bullets? Yes, madam. The kind that spread. 1156 01:14:34,957 --> 01:14:36,249 I--. 1157 01:14:38,582 --> 01:14:39,957 Hey. 1158 01:14:41,457 --> 01:14:45,291 Jeepers, stop shaking. I don't know why you worry about this. 1159 01:14:45,499 --> 01:14:47,166 I'm in great condition. You know that. 1160 01:14:47,749 --> 01:14:49,499 This kind of a thing wouldn't bother me a second. 1161 01:14:49,582 --> 01:14:51,957 I just... Jeepers, I... 1162 01:14:52,457 --> 01:14:54,291 Ivan, massage the arm there. 1163 01:14:54,374 --> 01:14:56,791 No, no. Massage the trigger finger. 1164 01:14:56,874 --> 01:14:58,582 All right. 1165 01:15:01,374 --> 01:15:04,957 Mr. Kidley! Oh, John! John, wait! 1166 01:15:05,457 --> 01:15:08,124 Hey, Jeepers! Juno. Oh, John! 1167 01:15:08,207 --> 01:15:10,957 Oh, John, dear. These are from us. 1168 01:15:10,999 --> 01:15:14,749 Me too, Mr. Kidley. Ain't it wonderful? We're gonna be married. 1169 01:15:14,832 --> 01:15:16,124 She swept me right off my feet. 1170 01:15:16,207 --> 01:15:17,957 I can't believe it myself, John. 1171 01:15:17,957 --> 01:15:20,124 He's whittled his way right into my heart. 1172 01:15:20,249 --> 01:15:22,291 Yeah, we found the bonds you left me, Mr. Kidley. 1173 01:15:22,374 --> 01:15:24,957 Oh, no. This time it's really love, John. 1174 01:15:25,082 --> 01:15:26,457 Goodbye, John. 1175 01:15:26,541 --> 01:15:28,957 Goodbye. Goodbye? 1176 01:15:32,374 --> 01:15:34,957 You got everything all fixed now? Yes. 1177 01:15:34,957 --> 01:15:36,999 All you got to do is tell him this, 1178 01:15:37,082 --> 01:15:39,832 there's a cross on the muzzle of the pistol with the bullet, 1179 01:15:39,999 --> 01:15:42,624 and a nick on the handle of the pistol with the blank. 1180 01:15:42,707 --> 01:15:44,957 Oh, I see. Oh, yeah. That's great. 1181 01:15:44,957 --> 01:15:46,874 Gimme that again. 1182 01:15:46,957 --> 01:15:49,124 There's a cross on the muzzle of the pistol with the bullet, 1183 01:15:49,207 --> 01:15:51,582 and a nick on the handle of the pistol with the blank. 1184 01:15:51,666 --> 01:15:53,374 Oh, yeah. Yeah. 1185 01:15:54,499 --> 01:15:56,291 There's a cross on the muzzle... 1186 01:15:56,957 --> 01:16:00,499 It is a question of honor. I will call you. 1187 01:16:00,624 --> 01:16:03,749 ...and a cross... No, a nick on a bullet. 1188 01:16:03,832 --> 01:16:06,249 Uh-uh. On the handle. And... 1189 01:16:08,374 --> 01:16:10,416 There's a cross on the muzzle of the pistol with the bullet, 1190 01:16:11,291 --> 01:16:12,541 and a nick on the handle of the... 1191 01:16:12,624 --> 01:16:14,457 - Courage, sir. - Mr. Kidley! 1192 01:16:14,541 --> 01:16:15,541 Yes? 1193 01:16:15,624 --> 01:16:17,541 You're not gonna die! I'm not gonna die? 1194 01:16:17,624 --> 01:16:19,707 You're not gonna be shot. Oh, that's fine! Let's get outta here! 1195 01:16:19,874 --> 01:16:22,916 No, wait a minute. Jeepers, you stand right over here. 1196 01:16:22,957 --> 01:16:25,291 And don't let them see us. Stay right there. Promise me. No, miss. 1197 01:16:26,124 --> 01:16:27,624 I fixed it, see. You have? 1198 01:16:27,707 --> 01:16:29,957 When you pick out the gun, remember this. Yeah? 1199 01:16:29,957 --> 01:16:33,082 Remember, there's a cross on the muzzle of the pistol with the bullet... 1200 01:16:33,166 --> 01:16:35,457 Yeah? ...and a mick on the nandle... 1201 01:16:35,541 --> 01:16:38,582 I mean, a nick on the handle of the pistol with the blank. 1202 01:16:38,707 --> 01:16:41,957 Oh, Mickey. Give that again, quick. Yeah. 1203 01:16:41,999 --> 01:16:46,416 There's a muzzle on the cross of... I mean, a cross on the muzzle of the... On the... 1204 01:16:46,541 --> 01:16:49,374 Mickey, this is my life. I'll save it. 1205 01:16:49,457 --> 01:16:51,499 There's a... Don't get excited now. 1206 01:16:57,749 --> 01:16:59,624 Kretsky. 1207 01:17:01,124 --> 01:17:03,416 Kretsky, we cannot lose. Huh? 1208 01:17:03,499 --> 01:17:06,916 One of the pistols has no bullet in it. What? 1209 01:17:07,457 --> 01:17:09,874 It is marvelous! 1210 01:17:10,457 --> 01:17:13,332 But how do you know which one? It's very simple. 1211 01:17:13,457 --> 01:17:15,791 There is a cross on the muzzle of the pistol with the bullet, 1212 01:17:15,874 --> 01:17:17,957 and a nick on the handle of the pistol with the blank. 1213 01:17:17,957 --> 01:17:22,041 Brilliant, Your Highness. Superb. What an idea. 1214 01:17:22,457 --> 01:17:25,916 A nick on the muzzle of the pistol with the... 1215 01:17:25,957 --> 01:17:29,832 No, no, no. I said, there is a nick on the handle. 1216 01:17:29,957 --> 01:17:33,957 Your Highness distinctly said, a cross on the handle. 1217 01:17:33,957 --> 01:17:38,832 No, no. I said, there is a nick on the bullet on the handle... You see? 1218 01:17:38,916 --> 01:17:40,082 Attention. 1219 01:17:40,166 --> 01:17:43,416 The principals will now proceed to the center of the field. 1220 01:17:43,499 --> 01:17:47,166 Mr. Kidley, please! They're ready for you, sir. 1221 01:17:47,249 --> 01:17:49,082 All right. All right. 1222 01:17:50,749 --> 01:17:54,749 I've got it. And a mistol on the nozzle of the pistol with the blank. 1223 01:17:54,957 --> 01:17:58,332 There is a cross on the handle of the muzzle with the bullet. 1224 01:17:58,666 --> 01:18:03,041 No. There is a cross on the handle of the nickel... Nizzle? 1225 01:18:03,207 --> 01:18:06,957 No, no, no! And a nick on the pullet of the whistle with the blank. 1226 01:18:07,082 --> 01:18:09,874 Yeah, all right. Stand away. I think I've got it.. Yeah. 1227 01:18:09,957 --> 01:18:12,957 There's a noss on the crizzle of the mistol with the pillet, 1228 01:18:14,541 --> 01:18:17,416 and a pullet on the nozzle of the nickel with the blank. 1229 01:18:17,499 --> 01:18:21,124 There's a cross on the puzzle of the mistol with the bullet. There's a... 1230 01:18:30,957 --> 01:18:32,957 Gentlemen, select your weapons. 1231 01:18:34,957 --> 01:18:37,291 There is a nickel in the cuzzle... Huddle on the... 1232 01:18:37,416 --> 01:18:39,957 ...handle of the bullet with the pretzel. 1233 01:18:40,082 --> 01:18:42,249 Here, here, gentlemen. Come, come. 1234 01:18:42,332 --> 01:18:45,291 There's a cuzzle on the muzzle of the bullet with the blanket, 1235 01:18:45,374 --> 01:18:48,207 and a whistle on the panel of the noodle with the cross. 1236 01:18:48,332 --> 01:18:49,791 Shut up! You shut up! 1237 01:18:49,874 --> 01:18:53,916 Now, really, gentlemen. This is no time for incantations. 1238 01:18:55,582 --> 01:18:56,791 Cross! 1239 01:18:56,916 --> 01:18:57,957 No! 1240 01:19:07,666 --> 01:19:08,999 The cross on the muzzle! 1241 01:19:09,207 --> 01:19:11,999 And a nick on the handle of the pistol with the blank. 1242 01:19:15,374 --> 01:19:16,374 Yeah, blank. 1243 01:19:16,832 --> 01:19:18,957 Ready? 1244 01:19:20,416 --> 01:19:23,249 Would you like to trade pistols? I'll give you mine and $40, Mr. Smirnov. 1245 01:19:23,374 --> 01:19:24,874 Thank you, I am very well satisfied. 1246 01:19:24,957 --> 01:19:26,832 Yeah, but I can't shoot with mine. I'm left-handed. 1247 01:19:26,916 --> 01:19:29,541 It will not make any difference which hand you use. 1248 01:19:29,624 --> 01:19:31,749 Gentlemen, take your places. 1249 01:19:43,082 --> 01:19:44,249 On the word, "March" you will... 1250 01:19:44,332 --> 01:19:46,499 Oh, Your Highness, you dropped your pistol. 1251 01:19:46,624 --> 01:19:48,416 No, you dropped yours! 1252 01:19:52,916 --> 01:19:53,957 Pardon. 1253 01:19:54,957 --> 01:19:56,916 Gentlemen, retire. 1254 01:19:58,541 --> 01:20:01,207 On the word, "March," you will start walking. 1255 01:20:01,416 --> 01:20:04,082 At ten paces you will turn and fire. 1256 01:20:04,166 --> 01:20:05,791 Ready? March. 1257 01:20:05,916 --> 01:20:08,207 One, two... No, no! Halt! 1258 01:20:08,332 --> 01:20:10,166 Halt! Exception. 1259 01:20:10,582 --> 01:20:11,707 Doesn't he know the rules? 1260 01:20:11,791 --> 01:20:15,832 Oh, Mr. Kidley. Are you going to go through with this? 1261 01:20:15,916 --> 01:20:19,249 Or do you wish to be branded as a coward? Yes! 1262 01:20:19,374 --> 01:20:21,457 Bravo. Very well, then. 1263 01:20:22,707 --> 01:20:25,332 Ready again. March. 1264 01:20:25,582 --> 01:20:28,416 One, two, three, four, 1265 01:20:28,707 --> 01:20:32,291 five, six, seven, eight... Don't hurry. Take careful aim. 1266 01:20:32,957 --> 01:20:34,041 Nine, ten! 1267 01:20:38,416 --> 01:20:40,041 What kind of blanks are these? 1268 01:20:40,124 --> 01:20:44,624 Gee, Mrs. Marko, that sure was white of ya. You sure can shoot too. 1269 01:20:44,749 --> 01:20:47,082 Always remember that, Henry my love. 1270 01:20:47,249 --> 01:20:51,624 Oh, Mr. Kidley! You did it! You shot the hand right out of his revolver! 1271 01:20:51,749 --> 01:20:54,957 Yeah! Imagine what I'd have done to him if I'd had a bullet in it. 1272 01:20:54,957 --> 01:20:56,791 Oh, John, you're wonderful. 1273 01:20:57,124 --> 01:21:00,957 Gee, Mr. Kidley, I got so excited, I... I called you John. 1274 01:21:00,957 --> 01:21:03,624 Oh... that's okay, Mrs. Kidley.